Besabriyaan

Chapter 53

The last train of the night silently glided through the final station; halting at the tail of the platform for its negligible number of passengers to get down. Thinking of nothing more than silence and hearing for the sound of void, I kept sitting with my motionless hands in the gap of my thighs and face hanging low in the dark. Wordless emotions celebrated alone with a single toast to darkness; mind, invisible to its own leisure. Now, that the world was spinning slower and the sky had already collapsed, my existence was torn just like a lost star deflected from its trajectory.

The door beside the berth I was sitting on opened and entered a worn out railway attendant who started gathering the used sheets and pillows having glanced my way once. The pale blue bulb was little dull compared to the black ink of the compartment but the concept of light has always been a mere illusion. Darkness is easier because you hide all those wrecking pieces of your mind under its pillow and the best part is, it never confronts you.

"This is really the last station, you see. The train is going to get into the car-shed. Nothing remains after this." Pulling the pillow covers out, he informed with a tinge of sneer in that voice.

"Nothing remains after this." I repeated to myself.

Blowing out a mocking titter, he carried on with his job. "Got your heart broken, mate?"

When I replied with nothing, he looked over his shoulder in the darkness trying to learn my body language. "Broke someone's heart?"

It was like a sharp knife twisting in the middle of my stomach. "Worse. Broke someone's trust."

And, I have been a stellar betraying that someone's trust with every word I spoke.

"That's bad. But then, life is full of broken promises." He reached for the last pile of sheets rolling them in his arms. "Now that my job is over, I'll have to remind you, this train will just not go anywhere. And, there's quite some time for the next train which is at six in the morning so, I'll suggest you to settle in one of the waiting rooms if there is any open at this hour."

"What time is it?" Hanging my head low, I croaked.

"3:30." As he switched the yellow light on, I shut my eyes immediately. "I'm assuming you got into this train without a ticket because one can rarely-oh my God-are you-oh my God! Manik Malhotra?"

Blankly as I looked up at him, my mind grasped the undeniable shock written allover his face exposing life's bittersweet tapestry. It was a rude awakening since I reminded myself of who I really am just as the light seeped in; my oldest enemy. Like an echo, I heard his wide eyes drawing in my presence infinitely but seeing me stand up to my full length caused a flicker of change in that amusement. The look in his eyes turned merciful when with a crushed breath and dominating weight in my chest, I pulled the door open and stood by the edge of the gate looking around at the dead platform.

There was quite some fog cutting through which I started walking on the platform thinking to myself no matter wherever I wandered over, no step would be a right one. Unexplainable moments undressed my soul as if tiny grains of her pain were blending in every ounce of my blood; beating me to the core. I witnessed a heartbreak for the second time in my life. Another real one and I couldn't tell I enjoyed it much because every time she looked at me like I was some criminal, the disappointment in those eyes started infecting my body like pathogens leaving no antidote.

Abruptly I paused and rolling on to my back, I perceived a stray dog following me. Inhaling as I sat on one of my knees, it copied my movement sticking its tongue out expecting some adoration out of me. Something flashed in my eyes; kindness I presumed when I gently stroked its soft furry head and it instantly lied down fighting to keep its eyes open. Shade of the soothing moonlight was sort of being replaced by early lights of dawn and this was not my destination so I had to get going. Standing up on my feet, I turned back on the path I was continuing but out of curiosity I simply behind to find the dog not following me this time because it had fallen asleep in peace.