Besabriyaan

Chapter 35

A night later:

The screeching noise of tires died after the streets passed in a frigid blur as I pulled outside the burnt house that people since years forgot about. Against the dark night sky, all I could see was nothing more than a ghostly silhouette of a previous structure which years before got burnt.

Curling and uncurling the neatly tucked in red scarf around my neck inside my black coat, with trembling fingers, I pushed the broken, swinging and dusty gate open making a sound that could turn me deaf. I didn't care about the rust clinging to my fingers but I deeply inhaled as I set my foot in. The dark shadow of the building towering over looked down at me as if it waited decades for a visitor.

The feeling was little unsettling as I asked myself if I really wanted to go in but took the vacuousness of my mind as a vague approval. Sighing, I entered into the deep corners which once happened to be a happy porch. I looked around in silence and found nothing but the ashes of old memories burnt alive. My legs stopped working as I was about to enter the building which no more had a door or any window waiting to pool down at my feet and be forgotten from the history. Something made a noise as my foot stepped on and fingers which still were covered in rust picked that metallic something up. I ran my fingers above it shedding all its dust away, losing a beat of my heart that for long had been caught inside the lump in my throat.

The Malhotra Residence

Tossing it away over my shoulder, I moved ahead like I did all these years. I didn't need to look back. Even as I was about to step inside through what once happened to be the main door, I hated when my senses alarmed me that the outhouse was exactly on my right. Clenching my fist, I put it inside my pocket before I dared to look at that direction which I knew was summoning me. The moment I lifted my eyes to that direction, I knew, all that I had been holding for so long inside me had the power to drive me crazy with just one look at it and the more I stepped closer, the black burnt outhouse which almost didn't have any residue but a broken structure seemed alive. As if I could see the fire still burning right before my eyes, as if I still was standing outside the way I was years before, as if the screams never died.

Before I could absorb anything, I knew the more my eyes watered, breathing became difficult to me. I wanted to turn back and run away but the way I suffered even this night passed a cold dagger over my cold heart. I gulped not wanting to let the screaming of all the ghosts of my past deafen me, thus all that was left in my power was to cover my ears sending the echoes away. I knew it became too much for me when I started hyperventilating because of all the torture I did on myself and like a coward, I turned away moving out of the territory with heavy steps that could bring me closer to my world.

I took the wheels in air as I pressed my leg more on the accelerator pushing the gear to the highest number and drank some raw whiskey contained inside the steel hip flask. I looked through the mirror measuring how far I was going away from the building I never was meant to run away from and clenched my jaw tighter focusing back on the road.

Pushing the door to my mansion wide open, I surely frightened few of my staffs who had no idea my arrival could be so unexpectedly fierce. Throwing the red scarf aimlessly at the stairs while stepping up, I unbuttoned my coat which landed at the corner knocking a vase which I heard to be smashed behind me. No amount of ice could calm the burning inside. No matter what I saw or where I headed to in my anger, the fire in my vision didn't just go away.

Giving a loud scream, pulling the roots of my hair in restlessness, I took the staircase aiming towards the terrace before my legs stopped working outside a room. Walking little closer and looking through the gap between the doors, I sighed feeling my vision bringing me back to my world. The jaw unclenched and the fists relaxed as my eyes found the ointment to my burn.