the stars were in your eyes 💫 - poetry

i dont want to survive. i dont want to live.

i guess i've always struggled with these thoughts

i guess i've always wanted to disappear
to die
to finally be at peace
to remove myself from existence

i mean god, i tried too
but it didn't change anything

i'm still here,
i'm alive
i'm living.
maybe not living
but i am surviving

and i still have these thoughts
they run
they race...
through my heart
through my soul
through my mind

it's like they never really left

i guess deep down
i've always known it
and i think...
i think i'll always want to die

or maybe
just maybe

i don't.

and instead

there's apart of me i want to kill
to remove

that will make me free.

perhaps i won't have to survive

and maybe

just maybe

i can start living.