The truth of it all- Denki Kaminari Angst

22- Agency or prison?

Hawks pov~

I was 11 when I was put in the Hero Commissions "special program", and I met Dabi two years later. 

The "training" was hell, but I honestly thought anything was better than what my parents did, so I put up with it. As I held the most promise, I wasn't treated as verbally harshly as some of the other kids, which made them hate me of cause, so they would make me feel like shit every chance they got. 

Dabi, or Touya as I knew him, was the only one who stood up for me. We were buddy's, always looking out for each other, and he held great promise too... But his quirk wasn't suited for his body - he has ice resistance while his quirk is extremely hot fire, meaning he burns himself.

Once the Hero Commission realized this, they tried to persuade Touya to find a more reasonable path as a sidekick. Pretty much the only reason why they didn't kill him is because he's so powerful and they would eagerly sacrifice him to save their lives if it came to that.

The mentors began taking Touya away for "talks" - and from what I gathered they were pretty much glorified mental manipulation tactics. And I noticed that Touya began to change, he was slowly pulling away from me.

He even stopped sticking up for me, and so when the other kids started trying to pick fights, the mentors would just stand as watch as it was an unfair fight with me vs four to eight others.

If I lost I'd be punished.

The punishments were bad.

I remember every single different method they used on me.

And I wish I didn't.

One night when we were 17, I caught Touya seeking out.

When I asked him what he was doing he started crying.

Of cause I immediately hugged him but he pushed me away.

That's when I broke down and started shouting how he didn't care about me and how he had no idea what I had been through without him. I screamed that he couldn't leave, that I couldn't lose him too.

That's when he walked up to me and kissed me.

Of cause I was shocked but reciprocated the kiss, falling deep into it.

When he pulled back he looked sad, he said he had to go but that he loved me.

That's all I heard of from Touya for nearly 2 years.

When I debuted as a pro hero, my agency got a call on its first day, and being the only one there I was the one who answered.

It was Touya.

I almost broke down then and there, but I kept myself composed.

He told me his new name, Dabi, and congratulated me, sating how proud he was and how happy he was that I escaped the Hero Commission.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I hadn't escaped, I just no longer lived there.

Dabi and I began meeting nearly every day, falling deeper in love every single time.

But he was with the league of villains and I was with the Hero Commission, so we couldn't be seen together.

When I turned 22, Dabi proposed to me.

Of cause I said yes.

The ring was simple, being a villain he couldn't afford much and the simplicity meant that I could wear it every day without people asking questions.

I loved him, and he loved me.

It pained me to have to fight both him and his associates, but I disagreed with their methods and they were killing people. 

It was the one thing I fought with Dabi about.

I snapped once after he had come to our meeting place covered in civilians blood, I shouted that what he was doing was wrong, that he couldn't just kill innocent people.

He agreed to stop killing innocents, and instead went after convicted criminals or heroes. I couldn't get him to stop fighting heroes, I knew that I would never be able to either. Just as long as he didn't kill any of my friends I could live with it. 

With everything that had happened with Kaminari, I had to tell someone. Dabi could tell that I was extremely tense when he came to my apartment a few weeks ago. After he pressed me I broke down crying. I hadn't done that for two years, but I had now. 

I cried and cried and cried.

Dabi calmed me down enough so I told him about Kaminaris file, but not telling him who it was, just saying it was a new student of mine. 

He listened to me and I ranted on about what I had read in the electric boys file, about his family, his nerodivergency, his mental illnesses and everything. 

Unlike erasure i had read his whole file, not just the family page.

And it shocked me to my core.

Dabi hugged me and I felt his body slightly shake, he was crying with me.

After staying like that for minutes or hours, embracing each other on the sofa with my wings wrapped around him, my face buried into his shoulder, he pulled back and spoke. 

He talked for a while.

He spoke about how while yes, villains had robbed him of his adoptive family, so had the heroes. And for once I agreed with him.

Being a hero I knew how shitty the system was.

And the Hero Commission was the worst of it.

Dabi still didn't know that I was a part of it.

And I couldn't tell him.

I couldn't.

I couldn't.

I couldn't.

I just couldn't.

I would keep it locked up.

Never letting that truth surface.

I could never let it surface.

I couldn't put that on Dabi.

Not after all the times people have fucked him over.

I shared everything with Dabi, we helped each other, but the Hero Commission was the one thing I kept from him. 

So when I messaged him to come for Kaminari, he came and he helped.

My past was shitty, I know it was. 

But I couldn't let that drag me down underwater, and if it did, I would kick and scream and scramble back up to the surface. I would do everything in my power to stay afloat. And if I couldn't, if I felt myself slipping, Dabi would help me up, he would be with floater.

I became a hero for two reasons- one of cause being because the Hero Commission didn't really give me a choice, but also because I want to make a change. 

I want to help the people who couldn't save themselves, and who had no one to save them. 

I want to help bring the Hero Commission down one day and expose them. 

I want to help kids who grew up with parents like mine, and I want to rescue them. 

I want to teach them how to break free and fly to their freedom.

For while I may be shackled down by the Hero Commission, I am a bird with wings, and they can never take the sky away from me.