𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑

XXXVIII. Forced Date

Chapter 38, Forced Date
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" My mouth shoots bullets so watch what you say or I'll kill you. "

~ Natalie James's POV ~

"I got you a date with my friend, Derek O'Brien."

Veronica said happily as I sat in the chair set in front of the vanity of hers, she's been extra kind to me since our fight.
I thought that I'd be able to finally get my way around her and that nothing would ruin it.

I nodded slowly, she curled my hair and brushed them out.
She took out a plaid pink skirt and a white shirt sleeves shirt.
She gave me matching white heels.

I put them on and smiled in the full-length mirror, I looked gorgeous.
Veronica took me to a Cafe where I saw a tall, blonde hair boy.

Veronica left me alone with the boy, we ordered food and chatted for a minute.
He wasn't very interesting at all, I fact awkward around him.

"So, tell me about yourself princess."

He winked when he said that, putting his hand on my thigh.
I got the ick and moved away from him, I looked at him.

" My mouth shoots bullets so watch what you say or I'll kill you. "

I said threateningly, Derek moved back in fright and continued eating his food, not looking over at me or talking to me.
My mind wandered over to Javon, I wanted to know how he was doing but I couldn't go on Instagram.

I felt like he didn't care, I felt like me missing was his getaway.
I finished eating and left the money on the table, grabbing my purse and walking away from the date.
The kiss I shared with Jaden was sweet but it wasn't Javon.

I cried so much this past week that I felt like I could process any tears anymore, I went home and change out of my outfit.
Veronica was in the shower, I put on pajamas and lied on the bed.

I closed my eyes and begin to drift off to sleep, I found myself dreaming of Javon.

"I love you, I always have."

I whispered as Javon approached me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I wrapped mine around his neck, but as I leaned in.

He was gone, thin air.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I fell onto the ground.

"I'm sorry I didn't kiss you, but it's obvious I wanted to."

I whispered the lyrics to Bubblegum by Clairo, hoping it would make him reappear but he never came back.
I began screaming in pain, I knew who I wanted and I needed to go back.

I felt like I was suffocating, there was no oxygen coming to my lungs.

Natalie wake up!

WAKE UP NOW NATALIE!

My eyes shot open with darkness, a pillow was now on my face.
I struggle to get free, I wanted to live!

I screamed only for it to be buried deep into the pillow, I didn't want to give up.
I grabbed one of the attackers arm and dug my nails deep, I felt warm blood drip down.

There they screamed, letting go.
I pushed the pillow off of my face, revealing Veronica.

Without a second thought, I threw a left hook and shoved her off the bed.
My body shook with fright, as warm tears now streamed down my face.

I ran out of the house, I run alot and I knew that but it's what I was best at.
I didn't stop running until I was at the safe Haven, I kneeled down and screamed my heart out.

"GOD LET ME LIVE, I WANT HAPPINESS!"

I screamed at the ocean, my eye sight was blurred but I still saw the waves.
There was nothing more I wanted than to be able to breathe in air and smile again, I wanted to go back to that life.

I screamed louder, it was like I was being murdered but I had to get it out of my system.
My phone was now dead, I lied on my back, staring at the stars as they stared back at me.

It was just at the moment where I wished I were dead too, I couldn't continue living a life that made me suffer.
Hadn't I suffered enough from everything?

Was I truly that annoying and obnoxious that the universe punished me until I gave up?
I felt my eyes grow sleepy, I drifted off to sleep.

Dying never left my thought neither did Javon.