Beyond Her Exterior

Chapter 57: Rebuilding

I can't lie and say my life took a turn for the better after I escaped from Carson and Tim. I can say I was safe for the very least, and they finally got arrested for their wrongdoings and I know they'll never be getting out, not with the charges they already had and the ones they've gained.

I've sat in a courtroom numerous of times over the last couple months breaking down my life story, everything that's happened to me, the things they've done to hurt me.

Vincent has people inside the prison who have been waiting on their arrival aswell. I know they're getting torn up in there, just like the way my body was torn up.

I want them to be torn to shreds the same exact way they both tore apart the self love I had for myself, the love that was hard for me to grow. The confidence they snatched away, and the soul they killed.

I'm still lost with myself, and with summer nearing, it's not like I can just settle down and give myself a break. I'm trapped in summer school.

Sighing, I stared at my ceiling some more trying to figure out what I'm gonna do with myself. It's no shocker that I've become depressed. It's no shocker that I have PTSD. God knows what else I may have.

Sometimes when I'm alone and my eyes are closed I see images of them in my head and it drives me insane, makes me want to rip my hair out, kill myself even.

I want better. I want to see better days. I want to seek a better life, and I know one day that it will occur. But for right now I must struggle, I must feel like this is the end of the world for me. That's the only way I'll see that there's a way up and out of this hole I've been dropped into. There's always a way out.

"Hey." I heard Caleb's voice causing me to look up toward the doorway where he stood leaned up against the wall. "Can I come in?"

I shrugged, sitting up on my bed. He walked in shutting the door behind him. I haven't seen much of him, in fact I haven't seen much of anybody. Is it bad that I've forgotten I even have friends?

Is it bad that I forgot what these friends even look like?

"How are you holding up after today?" He asked, sitting beside me on my bed. He was referring to court today.

"I'm okay. He was pretty bruised up wasn't he? The inmates got him bad. He deserves it." I reply, referring to Carson who just so happened to be in the court room alongside me in his orange jumpsuit handcuffed with four officers around him.

"Most definitely right." He said, a smile almost forming on his lips. Caleb sighed, running his hands through his messy hair. "Why does this feel never ending? I want it to all go away, and for you to just live a normal life."

"Normal wasn't made for me." I tell him, giving him a pointed look.

"It should be." He mumbled.

"Do you wanna watch a movie with me?" I asked him feeling as though the energy in the room was far too tense right now for it to continue, I needed to kill it and the only sensible idea I could muster up was watching a movie.

He nodded his head, kicking his sneakers off his feet and jumping further into the bed beside me. I let him pick the movie, and rested my head on the pillow just as Hotel For Dogs began to show. I glanced at him, to see him already smirking at me, "I know you like this movie, might as well watch it."

We laid beside eachother, taking in eachothers company, watching it, discussing it, and talking about animals.

He left a little while after because it was getting late which left me all alone once again to drown in my thoughts.