Take a Chance on Me

Thirty-six

"It's okay, Alex," I reassure him as I rub his shoulders, his head heavy in his hands. "He needs time and space to think. He will get back in contact with you when he's ready."

I know too well how hard it is to lose a parent. To lose one of the most important people in your life. I've had my whole life to get used to the fact that my mom is no longer a part of it. Chase has only had three weeks. 21 days to grieve the death of his father.

"I just want to know that he's okay. He's my best friend. This is the longest we have gone without talking to each other. I want to help but there's nothing I can do. I'm useless." Alex's knuckles turn white in frustration as his hands fold into fists. I can see how Chase's pain is killing him.

"You can be there for him when he is ready to talk. That is all you can do for now. Just be patient." I pull him into my chest, eventually pulling him down with me as I enclose our bodies in my duvet. A lot of days within the past few weeks have involved me laying down with Alex, making sure he's comfortable and knows that I am here for him. Chase lost his father, but Alex lost someone too. And although he wants nothing more than to be there for Chase, I know that someone needs to be there for Alex too. That person is going to be me.

-

After Alex falls asleep, I unwrap his arms from around me and go to the kitchen to prepare dinner for when he wakes up. I rummage through my cabinets and gather ingredients for spaghetti, because I'm not a great cook and this is the best edible meal I can make, and a box of brownie mix for dessert. As I begin boiling the water and setting the temperature on the oven so it can preheat, I pull my phone out of the waistband of my pajama pants and text Gabby. I know the last time we talked was at the bonfire, but I want to check in and make sure that she is okay too.

Hey Gabby. It's Leah. I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing.

A few minutes later my phone pings. Gabby.

Hi Leah. Thanks for checking in. I'm doing alright. I didn't know his dad very well, I only met him once or twice, but I know that Chase was really close with him so his pain is my pain too. I wish there was something we could do to help.

I do too. All I want is to make him feel better, even if it's just one percent better than he felt at the hospital.

Has he responded to any of your texts? Alex has reached out a few times but there's radio silence on the other end. The last time we saw him was at the funeral two weeks ago.

I'm in the same boat as Alex, he hasn't responded to a single message. I've never had a family member pass away, so I don't know how to get through to him.

I have though. Maybe I can get through to him if I let him know I can relate to him. It's worth a shot.

I'll figure something out. If you need anything, just let me know. I'm just a phone call away.

After I send my last message to Gabby, I decide to send a text to Chase. I haven't heard from him since the funeral either, but there's no harm in trying again.

Hi Chase. It's Leah. I just wanted to check in with you and let you know that I am here if you ever need anything. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. I lost my mom when I was younger. It may feel like the end of the world, like things will never get better, but I promise that they will. It may take a long time and you will have to adjust to a new normal, but you will get there. I'm making some brownies and if you want some I would love to bring them by. Let me know(:

-

After the pasta is done cooking, I make a bowl for Alex and a bowl for myself. I knock on my bedroom door to wake Alex up but there's no response. I peak my head in and see that he is still fast asleep. Instead of waking him up, I put his bowl on the night stand next to my bed and let him finish his nap, even though I know it will make it impossible for him to fall asleep tonight.

I take my bowl to the couch and turn on a bit of TV to clear my head and escape from my current situation. Of course I turn on reality television because their lives always seems to be more chaotic than mine and it helps me feel grounded. When I watch the love triangles that form on Love Island I know that I'll never have to face a situation like that, ever, and I feel more in control of my life, even when it does gets difficult.

The timer on the oven pulls me out of my safe space all-consumed by reality television. After I pull the brownies out of the oven and feel my mouth watering from the smell of chocolate filling the kitchen, I check my phone and see a notification. It's from Chase.

My heart skips a beat and my hands begin to sweat. He's finally responding to his messages. I got through to him. Maybe I can help him.

Thank you Leah. I don't really want to talk about it, but I do love brownies.

I can't believe he responded. And he actually wants me to bring him brownies. He welcomes human interaction outside of his household, even if it is just to grab a tin of brownies from me. I check to see if Alex is awake, but he is still fast asleep.

Do I wake him up and bring him with me? Or do I let him sleep and go on my own?

I tap the screen on his phone and see that he doesn't have any notifications. Chase hasn't responded to him yet, but he responded to me. Does that mean that he isn't ready to see Alex right now? Am I the only person he is willing to see, because of the brownies, or because I have endured a loss like his? I figure the best way to make him comfortable is to not bring any unwarranted guests. I respond to his message.

On my way.