The Raven - Born Out The Earth

Hold It In, Raven

When we arrived home, everyone saw my obviously puffy face and knew that I had cried. So, I hugged Aya and cried some more. It was not like I hadn't cried in front of them anyways.

I knew Eliana was giving him accusing glare and even offered to punch him, but I shake my head while he stood there, rubbing the back of his neck, looking tense. I didn't want to hurt him. It would only hurt me even more. Why, though?

I skipped dinner that evening. I wanted to just lay on my bed and not think about anything. But I kept thinking about him. The whole damn night. What does he mean to me? Why does his presence affect me so much? Why does his absence bother me so much? Just the thought of him having a mate out there, eats my inside. Another girl, not me, made just for him. No.

I don't want to think about him with someone else.

But that someone else is made for him.

Let go, Raven.

Just let go.

Close your eyes. Tomorrow will be different. You are going to choose to not feel. You are going to be the Raven from before. You can choose to be with your family. Or you can choose not to. The choice is yours. My sleep takes over my conscious. Then I dream about him. And me. Our life together. What could have been. But what will never be. Tears streams down the side of my temples. Even in my sweet dream, I cried.

"Lucas."

I feel refreshed today. Maybe it's all the pep talk that I gave myself. Even without Eliana or Aya, I dressed up pretty good myself. I think. I hope I did.

I wore a boxy white sleeveless top that ended just on my waist. I paired it with a light washed blue mom jean with rips and holes all over the knee and thigh area. Of course, I picked my white Nike and my black backpack that I carried over one shoulder. I let my wavy hair into a tight bun. Overall, I looked good. For me at least. I tried.

"Morning, my Lycans." I shout from the bottom of the staircase as I see them all in the dining table filled with breakfast. "Wow. Thanks for waiting everyone. That's very nice of you." I grab a chair next to Eliana and sat down as I put my bag on the chair next to it.

They all looked at me as if I had lost it. Which I have. "What?" I looked at every one of them. Even him. "Nothing." Eliana speaks beside me as they all nod and continue their breakfast. His eyes are very much on me though. I look at him and give him a sweet smile and continue eating like the rest.

"Hey sister, if you are not planning on driving then I'll go with Aya and Elias." I walk towards their car and open up the back door. "Even if you are, I'll still go with them today. See you there." I slip in and slam the door shut.

"Hey. Mind if I take a ride." I smile at them from the back. "Even if we did, you are already in." Elias' chuckles. I smile widely at him. "Let's go then."

I never want to be in a car with just the two of them. Can't they not stop touching one another? Elias' hand sits on Aya's thigh as he rubs circle on them. While her hands play with his hair or his face. Originally, I was seating in the centre to chat with them. But never mind.

I moved to the other corner of the car and leaned my head on the window as I looked at the passing view. I sigh. Again, for the tenth time since we drove from home. I can see both Eliana's and his car parked in the same place. Is it always reserved for them? I mean. Connection, I guess.

While Elias' parks his car next to theirs, they both seemed to be out and leaning against his car. I quickly grab my bag and get out the car. "Don't wait up for me. I'll see you all at home." I speed walk towards the building.

This morning, I have the same old professor from the first day. I don't remember his name. Even if I did, I will erase it from my memory. I don't want to remember any of their names. Not even one. It's like building up ideas for my already overly full list of nightmares.

I usually sit alone by the back. Nobody bothers me. But this morning, Michael, as he introduced himself, sits beside me. He jokes about the professor and I'm completely sold. By the time we get out the room, I'm laughing so hard. Apparently, we both have the next class together again. I think I love this boy. His humour is something else. Everything he says, he makes me laugh. The best medicine for me right now. I think all I needed was a Michael in my life.

"Are you hungry? Do you want to have lunch together?" He asks as we walk out yet another class. "Are we even friends?" My question itself is a joke. He puts his arm around me. "I mean look at me. Who wouldn't want to be friends with me?" He smiles mischievously.

I mean he is good looking. Not like Lucas godly good looks but good for a normal human, I guess. His hair is dark like mine freshly cut short but suits him. He's clean shaven which emphasises his sharp jaws. He has brown eyes but darker almost black. Most of all he has this very sweet smile. I know every girl falls for him.

"Yeah, I am looking at you. So what?" I stop and look at him. He grins wider and tugs me by his arm around my shoulder. "You, my beautiful, are too blind to see through that gorgeous eyes of yours. Now what do you want to eat?"

I let out a laugh at this as we walk into the cafeteria. "Anything. Food is food." I reply. "Okay." He says and grabs a tray but puts it in my hand. Then he starts getting food and drinks and puts it in the tray. "Hey, why am I carrying all of this? Not fair."

He just laughs and turns me around so I'm facing away from him. He pays for the food and holds my shoulder from behind and pushes me lightly to move. He directs me around until we get a seat. Then he takes the tray from me and puts it on the table. "So, now you want to take the tray away from me huh?"

I take a seat beside him while he laughs again. "I guess, I can't keep the food away from you huh?"

"You know I might have to punch you in the face if you ever do that." He laughs even harder now. "Sorry, beautiful. I wouldn't want to be punched by you. Or anyone. I do love my face you know." He rubs his jaw with his thumb and index finger as he grins at me.

I look at him with disbelief and huff as a smile breaks through my face. I shake my head and start eating the chips that he so kindly bought, a large one, might I add.

I part from him after lunch. I guess we don't have any more class together. But I have Emily with me though so no worries. I spoke too soon.

Oliver was not working today so Emily and I decided to take a bus to the beach and walk our way from there. Work was only a couple of minutes away from the beach anyways.

I finished work the same time as yesterday. I said my goodbyes to Emily and watched her walk away. I turn around to walk home when I smelt the scent of ocean. I saw him make his way towards me. "Come on." He says as he walks towards his car parked by the front of the café. Wait. How long has he been waiting for me?

I follow him silently into the car and soon he starts driving. "Who was that guy at lunch today?" His voice doesn't hold any emotions, but his knuckles are definitely turning white. Poor wheel. Whatever you might have done wrong.

"A friend." I keep my eyes on the road. "I met at class."

"Does this friend have a name?" His jaws are definitely clenched by the sound of his voice. "Michael." I reply. "You two seemed really...close."

"He makes me laugh." I say flatly. "And I seem to make you cry." I almost, almost did not hear him. I turn my head to look at him, but his face is void of any emotions. I squint my eyes as I try to read him. I'm usually really good. But not with him, I guess. Okay. Time to change the topic.

"Have you met your mate yet?" I blurt out before I could stop myself. I shut my eyes close and turn to look out the window. Why, Raven?

I hear him release his breath. "Once."

My heart breaks with the one word he answered. Hold it Raven. Just hold it in.