How did I get here-? [Purogen headcanons, SCP, other]

Whats 035?

The feed starts right where the last one cut off, purogen ducking through the hole he made, holding the lightsaber at the ready, only to find a D-class inspecting a computer station of some sort, dozens of buttons and levers spread across it, all glowing different colors

Purogen rapidly sheathes the lightsaber, retracting it and putting it into his tail compartment soundlessly, 

Purogen: hello?

The D-class rapidly spins around, fear written across his face, before drawing a pistol and taking five shots, all missing wildly

Purogen: Can you not? 

The D-class pauses for a moment, only for purogen to take advange of the pause and swiftly knock him out, with a rap on the top of his head

Purogen: Sorry, but I don't want to have you telling everyone where I am-

Purogen turns to the massive control panel, before spotting a USB 3.0 port

Purogen: Oooooh! High speed port!

Purogen raises the end of his tail up, changing from a universal power connector to USB 3.0, and quickly shoves it into the open port

Purogen: let's see what I can access here~

Purogen's visor goes completely black, only for hundreds of pages of documents to be displayed, thousands upon thousands of pages in a single instant, downloading the whole database over the course of the next hour

[Smol timeskip]

Purogen retracts his tail slowly, his face having returned to his visor

Purogen: There is over three thousand documented SCPs…..

Purogen looks down slightly

Purogen: What the fuck……

Purogen shakes his head slightly, seeming to come back to the present

Purogen: Is that D-class still here-?

Purogen looks around, and, spotting the D-class, drags him to the door with his collar, carefully, and places him inside the adjacent cell, before walking back out and sealing both the entrance door and the containment door

Purogen: Now, we wait. 

As purogen wait for the D-class to wake up, his attention is fixed on a glass container in the middle of the cell. Inside, there is a white porcelain mask, is the shape of a Greek tragedy mask

[Current expression upon the time of writing]

Eventually, the D-class wakes up, and approaches the glass container, only to lift it off and put the mask on, seeming in a trance

035: sounding like he does in containment breach ahhhhhh, that you, whoever you are-

Purogen opens the containment door, and sits on the control panel in wait

035 leaves its cell, approaching purogen

035: What exactly are you-?

Purogen: An extremely bored, successfully failed experiment.

035: that is needlessly vague.

Purogen: Just call me Purogen.

035: Well, thank you, Purogen. Long time since I have had a good host-

035 extends out a hand to shake, only for purogen to put up a pawb in the "stop" gesture 

Purogen: You don't want to do that. I have no idea how it would affect you, or your body, and I'd rather not take the risk.

035: Fair enough. I heard the breach alarms-?

Purogen: Ah, yes! I almost forgot!

Purogen reaches down and picks up the D-class's former gun, a simple Barretta M9 chambered in 9mm, before tossing it to 035

Purogen: He shot it five times, so at best, you got ten bullets in there-

035: Thanks! This will definitely help!

035 points the gun directly at purogen's visor, before firing

Purogens visor dents in slightly, absorbing the bullet, as he reaches up with a pawb and pries the lead out, only to open up his maw and visor, and eating it

Purogen: That hurt, please don't do that. The lead tasted good, however.

035: Did you just- eat- the bullet-?

Purogen: Yes.

035: Well, okay, I guess. You gonna open the door?

Purogen: How do I know I can trust you? After all, you did just shoot me.

035: Guess you don't! Besides. All I want to do is get out of this facility.

Purogen: Well, I don't want to get out, honestly. I just want to make people happy.

035: Well, you made me happy!

Purogen hits the lever, and the door opens

035: After you!

Purogen: Whatever-

Purogen goes to the door, and peeks out, only to be faced with-

[Hehehehehehehhehehehe~ I'm gonna make you wait~