What I Once Was

Chapter 6

Ava was walking along the street beside the park. He was where Jane said he would be. He sat on a bench beside the park, with his head bowed and hazel-colored-eyes closed. His raven black hair was covering most of his face, the fringes dangling downwards and blowing against the soft breeze. His lips formed an upset expression. The sun was setting, and the orange rays reflected on his raven black hair and pale skin, making him seem absolutely stunning.

Ava took in the gorgeous view of him, but shook her head and went ahead and sat beside him on the bench. He looked up and saw her and turned his face the other way and said, "I don't feel like hearing a lecture right now."

Ava chuckled, "Oh, I'm not here to lecture you. I just came here to check up on you."

Alex looked at her in shock. "Did Jane put you up to this?"

"No, she doesn't know I'm here."

"Oh"

A long pause where they both shift uneasily.

Ava said, "So, talk to me."

Alex asked, "About?"

"About how you're feeling, what changed your mind to save Noah, why you chose to kill them."

Alex shrugged and sayed, "Because I'm a bad person. As simple as that."

"No you're not. You just keep telling yourself that because it's much easier to be the bad guy then own up to your mistakes."

Alex leaned back and shrugged, "How do you know what kind of person I am?"

"I just refuse to believe that someone who saved my life from a bunch of drunken guys is a bad person."

Alex's eyes widened and he stared at Ava's stern face, "You remember?"

"Yeah of course I do. I recognized you the moment Jane introduced you to me. I just wasn't sure and waited for you to confront me, but you didn't so I forgot about the incident."

"Wow I-" Alex was speechless.

"You know you can talk to me," said Ava, looking Alex in the eyes. Alex sighed and started talking, "You know, the first time I encountered death was when I was seven years old. My dog Chirpy got run over by a car. The scene was horrifying. His flesh smashed against the road, and blood poured out. I didn't cry. I didn't scream for help. I just stood there and stared at it. I couldn't believe he could die just like that, and I didn't know what to feel. My mom came out of the house, and I told her that I'm going to sue the person who killed Chirpy. She told me that it wasn't a murder, that death is a part of life and we need to accept it. Then she hugged me and said it was okay to grieve. I think that was the longest time I cried. On the day of my parents' accident, when I saw the corpse of my parents get taken away in the hospital, I didn't cry, I didn't scream, I didn't allow myself to feel any pain because I knew who the murderer was. I carried all the emotions inside me, because there was no one there to tell me to cry, to let it all out. The next thing I know, my hand is filled with Garrick's blood. From then onwards, blood and death never got to me, so I signed up as an assassin, to let out my anger and pain on somebody else."

Ava looked at him with an empathetic face, "I'm really sorry, Alex. But you should've told Jane what you did earlier. Also I get why you killed Garrick, and it's not your fault." Alex smiled to himself.

Ava looked at him with annoyed eyes, "You don't believe me do you?"

"I just can't imagine how you would understand why I killed him. Not even a week ago you were giving us shit for being assassins and killing people."

"I still disagree with you killing people. But I know what it feels like to want to get revenge for your life getting ruined and parents separating from you."

Alex stopped smiling and looked at her with an expression of compassion and curiosity. Ava continued, "My father cheated on my mom, and he left us about two years ago. We were left vulnerable, without money, food, shelter. I was so angry at the woman who took my father away from us." Ava paused for a while, pondering back to those days.

Alex felt bad for her, "I'm sorry that happened to you..."

"It's fine. The struggle is over now and I'm happy. Anyways, one day I went to my father's house to check on him and how he was doing. We were having dinner and I shoved a fork right through that woman's hand."

"For real?" Alex asked, amused, and they both started to chuckle.

Finally they managed to stop laughing and Ava looked up towards the sky. The sun sank behind the park trees, and the sky was now a shade of dark blue. A few stars could be seen. Ava sighed, "One event can change your whole life...... the incidents happen so fast and suddenly."

Alex hums in agreement and looks at the sky too, thinking about how suddenly the car crash happened, and how everything in their happy life was crushed. Then he looked at Ava, who was still staring at the sky, smiling. Her face was fair and flawless like an angel, and her cheeks were rosy pink. Her doe eyes glistened in the sunlight. Her thin lips were curved into a warm smile. Her brunette, straight hair blew with the wind, making her look mystical and elegant as ever. She looked so gorgeous. Alex didn't realise how close he was to her face, and without thinking, he kissed her.

Ava was very shocked at first, but it felt really good, so she kissed back. His lips were soft as a pillow, and tasted amazing.

After a while Alex came back to his senses and realised what he was doing and quickly pulled back.

"I- um- I'm really sorry for that," stuttered Alex, as he stumbled up from the bench, "I-I should go, I have something to do," and with that he walks out of the park, as Ava sits there in shock. 

A/N:

Most emotional chapter in the whole story.