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"Similar ways, similar game. Starting to feel the similar pain" ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ | Amir |
"Okay Amir let's get started" Dr. Sullivan said to me.
I was at my therapist appointment that Saige had set up for me and even though I really ain't wanna be here, I figured it wouldn't hurt to try.
"How are you feeling today?"
"I'm aight"
"Have you been in therapy before?" she asked me.
"Nah. To be honest wit you doc, I'm only doing this cause my girl thought I should" I said truthfully. "Talkin to a stranger bout how I feel is new to me so this ain't something that I chose on my own"
"That's completely understandable Amir. The whole point of therapy is being honest at all times and talking about the topics that are challenging and situations that we really don't want to deal with. Between thirty to eighty percent of people deal with trauma or mental health issues and they are very hesitant to when it comes to getting the proper treatment" she replied making me nod my head slowly.
"Before we get started I want to let you know that whatever you say in this room does not leave this room. Whatever you feel comfortable with telling me today stays with me" she stated. "What do you feel is probably the biggest issue that you have in your life at the moment?"
I took a second before speaking because I really wasn't sure if being here was good for me or not. I was never gonna find out if I don't take the steps in getting better. I couldn't lie and say my mental wasn't fucked up and I started to realize that being here and actually getting the advice that I needed could possibly give me the closure that I deserved.
"My pops" I spoke out finally. "He been locked up since I was like eight and he was released early about a few weeks ago"
"Have you seen him already?"
"Yeah you can say that" I replied thinking back to the night after my party at the club. I was starting to get mad all over again just thinking about that shit.
"What was going through your mind when you finally saw your father?" she asked me. "Was it some what of a relief or was it actually triggering for you?"
"It was fasho triggering. Ain't nun bout him being out of jail was a relief after what he did to my family" I spat. "Over ten years had passed and I ain't never go see him, call him or even write his ass a letter. He didn't deserve anything from me"
"You can't come back from that and shit we don't need him—he got cancer too like that's gon make me look at him any different" I scoffed. "I've been providing for my family wit out him and my moms been doing a damn good job raising me and my brother by herself"
