Indifference (boyxboy)

27. Don't Shoot the Messenger

Elijah

I peered out from behind the curtain of my bedroom window and watched as Alicia and Ryan strode off down the street. Alicia was obviously telling him some interesting story by the way her arms were waving wildly around and she was practically bouncing on her feet. Every now and again, Ryan would turn to face her and give her a small smile.

I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. Why would he go to Alicia and not me? Was he even friends with Alicia?

I suddenly remembered that Alicia was the one who had given me Ryan's number in the first place. Maybe they were friends? Or maybe they were something more than friends? I groaned as they went round the corner of the street and out of sight.

Of course he was going to like Alicia more than me! She was a girl after all, and what did teenage boys want more than anything else? A girlfriend of course.

A little voice inside my head kept reminding me that I was a teenage boy and I didn't want a girlfriend. But then I wasn't exactly normal. And Ryan had already told me he was horny all the time. It was only natural that he'd want to find someone to relieve that tension with.

Suddenly images of Ryan and Alicia getting close invaded my thoughts making my stomach tie up in knots.

"It doesn't matter," I mumbled to myself. "I can't be his girlfriend. I'm his friend. So it doesn't matter if he wants to be with Alicia like that. It's not like I can be with him like that. I'm his friend. She can be his girlfriend."

But was he even my friend anymore?

Suddenly I felt anger bubbling up inside me. Why was I even bothered about him? He was constantly blowing hot and cold on me, not caring about how I felt. So it was about time I stopped caring too.

I marched over to my cupboard and pulled out our English project. We'd nearly finished the first part and that was the biggest of the three. I'd also been completing part three (the bit where we had to say how we broke up the project between us) as we went along. So really all there was to do was the second part - a creative piece of writing on Indifference.

I pulled out my laptop and started doing some research on examples of indifference in literature.

It was late when I finally lifted my head out of my work, and I had written a draft of what I was going to do. I'd run it by Ryan tomorrow including the notes of a few small bits of research that I'd get him to do just so I could put his name to something.

And then, hopefully, there would be no more reason for us to talk. And I could finally forget about him, and get on with my life. And maybe get some sleep.

I probably got about 6 hours of sleep that night. More than I had recently, but given that I was already sleep deprived, it just wasn't enough. I was beginning to feel like the living dead.

"I'm out this evening," my mum said, while I was making breakfast.

"Where?" I asked in surprise. My mum never went out anywhere.

"Aunty Jean is taking me to Bingo."

Aunty Jean wasn't really my Aunty. She was quite close friends with my mum when I was little and so I called her Aunty. I hadn't seen Aunty Jean in about three years.

"That's great," I said, genuinely thrilled that my mum was getting out and about again.

"I'll be home around 7. Is that ok?"

"Of course it is," I replied.

Maybe today was going to be a good day afterall.

I kept hold of that thought right up until the moment I walked in the school gates.