Indifference (boyxboy)

19. If I Was Normal

A/N Happy New Year Everyone!!  A Double Update to Celebrate the End of a Crappy Year!!! 

Elijah

It was taking everything I had in me not to spiral out of control. I had so many emotions rattling around inside me, I couldn't decide what was going on.

My world had been totally disrupted in the last few weeks, well since Ryan came into my life. And it had its positives and negatives. With the addition of new people in my life, came a change in my normal routines. And that caused extra anxiety. But then because of these people, I now had some new routines which I actually enjoyed. Like checking my phone. We had a musicians group chat on WhatsApp where we discussed ideas for the concert, as well as just general chit chat, and I loved reading everyone's messages before I went to bed at night.

And then there were my messages from Ryan. We didn't text a lot, but I usually received one or two off him a day, and I found myself feeling a fizz of excitement every time I saw his name on my phone.

But just as I was adapting to having Ryan in my life, he suddenly went weird on me. I wasn't great at reading people at the best of times, but he alternated between hot and cold so often I was left feeling dizzy.

And then the whole situation with Franz and the bullies was stressing me out. And now Ryan was saying I couldn't step in and help, and as much as I didn't want to lose Ryan's friendship, I couldn't leave Franz to face them alone. It was like Ryan was making me choose, and I didn't like it one bit.

And now I had detention as well. Me!!! Detention!! I had never had detention in my life!!

My hand hovered over my phone. I needed to tell my mum. But I couldn't bring myself to. She wouldn't miss me at home, because I should have been at orchestra anyway. But I never lied to my mum. I was clenching and unclenching my hand so much it was starting to cramp up. I really just wanted to go home and climb under my duvet and shut the whole world out for a while.

I put my phone back in my pocket.

I headed over to the classroom where detention was being held then took a deep breath and walked through the door.

I don't know what I expected, but I didn't expect to see just a teacher and Ryan sat in the room.

I walked over and handed the teacher my detention slip.

"Well, it's just you two boys today," Miss Briggs said. "And because I have to be somewhere, I've arranged a special job for you to do."

I rammed my hands into my pockets so no one could see me clenching my fists.

"Coach Griffiths wants some help in the gym. He's expecting you."

Ryan rolled his eyes and dragged himself up out of the chair he was sitting in. I sighed and turned round and headed back out and towards the gym. It was just my luck that the one time I had detention, I couldn't just do some of my homework.

We made our way down to the gym in silence. I really didn't want to talk to Ryan yet anyway. I needed to make sense of it all in my head first, but there was just too much going on in there to deal with it now.

As soon as we entered the gym, it became clear what we were going to be asked to do. It looked like a herd of cattle had torn through the gym! There was mud and grass everywhere.

"The field and track team thought it would be a good idea to use the gym after being caught in a heavy rain shower earlier," Coach Griffiths explained, "only they decided to bring in half the field with them too. Sweeping brushes and mops are in the cupboard over there. Call me when you're done. I'll be in my office."