CTRL

1.

Kaidyn in M.M.

I was in my room listening to one of my girl SZA's songs off of my favorite albums CTRL.

"All I got is these broken clocks

I ain't got no time

Just burning daylight

Still love and it's still love, and it's still love

It's still love, still love, still love (still lovin')

It's still love but it's still love (still lovin')

Nothin' but love for you

Nothin' but love (nothin' but)

Nothin' but love"

My roommate was staring at me in amazement as I hit every note. Her face was like all the other times when she told me I needed to be on somebody's stage making millions. I knew I could sing, but I didn't want to look at singing as my only option out. How many other singers were out there? TOO many, which is why I decided to go to school and get my degree in Business and a minor in Marketing.

Lost in my thoughts, I snapped back to reality when I saw Nessa standing on her bed.

"Kai, you really need to stop playing and make that money, you'd be like..." Janessa said as she held her brush up to her mouth while she sang.

"All that I've got, pieces and pages

Talking a lot, sorry I'm faded

Think I've forgot, you love me

You love me

You love me

You love me

You love me"

Nessa wasn't the best singer, but she sang them notes like she was SZA herself... I laughed uncontrollably while she bowed to her imaginary crowd. That girl was something else.

Looking down, I saw a text:

MINE💕🤞🏽: Hey ma, wyd?

I replied: Nothing, trying to study but Im front row at Nessa's concert

MINE💕🤞🏽: That girl crazy, Im tha only 1 that can distract you

I replied: Boyyyy, bye. I really need to study, this test is worth 15% of my grade.

MINE💕🤞🏽: I'm downstairs, come roll with me real quick

I sighed, but in the inside I was lowkey happy asl. Jamal knew that sometimes I could bury myself in my books and end up stressing myself way more than I needed to; but this time I really needed to study. I had been so consumed with my other classes that I forgot I had a test tomorrow. I contemplated going with him or studying for a minute... I guess I could take educated guesses?

I got up, putting my hair in a messy bun, sliding on some leggings and my black and white Nike windbreaker. I knew we weren't doing nothing but going to his apartment to chill so I wasn't about to dress up.

After getting dressed, Nessa asked me "whea you goin'?"

"J is downstairs and is rescuing me from my studying." I laughed, sliding my well groomed toes into my Nike slides.

"Mm, I thought you had studying to do? That nigga always trying to get his hands on you... and everyone else" She rolled her eyes and mumbled the last part, and put her headphones in her ears.

I continued to get ready, spraying a little bit of my Juicy Couture perfume. The thing about Nessa was that she was so protective of me. She was like the big sister I never asked for. My momma always told me that if I was going to tell my friends and family about my relationship to be ready to hear it later.

J and I had a past, we've been dating for about 3 years now, and his was my first and I planned on him being my only. In the beginning, it seemed perfect. We were attached to the hip and Jamal was the sweetest, most romantic man eva. After our year anniversary, we started having all types of problems. Him hiding his phone, not spending as much time with me, and having "study nights" with some of his classmates. Yeah, you guessed it, he was doing me dirty.

Its like all the bitches we used to stunt on was now all on his dick, and I guess he was feeling hisself and falling for the shit. We broke up for about 3 months, but after losing my best friend... as soon as he proved to me he was all about me. You damn right, I took him back... he was MINE.

I looked down and was getting a call from J, I answered.

"Hello?"

"Ma, where yo thick ass at? You got me waiting in this parking lot like I'm a taxi or some shit"

"Im sorry, I had to go over my study guide one more time." I lied, he was impatient and I had to give him a reason as to why I was taking so long, and telling him Nessa was talking shit as usual would've just pissed him off more.

"Well hurry up, I ain't about to be waiting on you for faeva, I got other shit to attend to."

I looked at my phone and thought, he MUST be talking to somebody else.

"Then leave and go attend to whatever or WHOEVER the fuck you gotta attend to." I replied mad as hell.

I heard him smack his lips, "C'mon Ma, you know you my only baby. Now come on, Daddy just wanna see you."

He always had a way of buttering me up... I sighed and told him I was on my way.

I hung the phone up and waved my hand to Janessa. She took out one of her headphones with an attitude.

"I'll be back, don't wait up." I winked.

She waved me off, and with that I was on my way to a night with Daddy.

More to come tonight, just starting lol.