hurt myself by hurting you~ jiara

see you again

It's been 2 days since jj was gone and I've never missed someone so much. I just really needed him.

"I Can't believe John b said that-" Sarah whispered out of blue

"Same" I replied emotionless

"Sup girls" pope shouted as he walked too us with John b

Me and Sarah were mad at both of them since the day with jj. So they probably just tried to make us feel better again. Won't work.

"Wanna uhm-" John b stopped to thinking
"Yeah should we-" pope tried aswell

"Is it so hard? Just say something- you know our answers are no" I said annoyed

"Kie common. It's been 2 days now." John b shouted

"Yeah, and your still not noticing that he's in fact not back." Sarah rolled her eyes

"Oh so you too?" Pope asked with a shocked laugh

"What abo-" John b said but cleo interrupted him

"Don't even ask bee, I'm on jjs side this time" she meant

John b held his head walking back outside
"Can't believe you girls" pope shouted as he followed John b

~jjs pov~

My heart won't stop beating fast since almost 3 days. I can't handle the loneliness anymore. I feel like I'm unwanted in this reality...

I also didn't know where to go, so I just went home. My dad wasn't there the first day, when he came back he didn't even talked a word to me even if he saw me.

I couldn't care less, the only times he talks to me is when he needs money or when he just wanna use me as a figth partner.
So I was actually happy he didn't talked to me. I thought

"What are you doing here?" He asked while madness took is expression.
I didn't wanna answer, so I stayed quit and walked past him

"Talk to me asshole." He shouted

"What?" I asked emotionless

"I asked you. WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DOING HERE." He replied

"Isn't it obvious dad?" I fake laughed walking away, I couldn't deal with him at the moment

"Kid-" he shouted behind me

Kid? Why would he even call me that- a few minutes ago I was an asshole.

I throwed myself on the bed, till I explode and started crying...
It's too much for me. I don't wanna talk to anyone, or see.
I heard Luke leave, and I knew that he wasn't coming back that early, so I was alone.

I punched the wall till my knuckles bleed, and I scratched my wrist with an piece of a glass bottle.. I don't know why but it made me feel better.

My wrists were bleeding, like really bad my whole arm was covered in blood... but even now I don't care anymore.

I just wanna end things up, but I don't know how. The only think I know is, that my plane crashed. And I'm the only person who survived. Alone in the ocean fighting for live. And I know that if I just stop swimming one time I'll drown and die. But maybe that's the only solution.....

~kies pov~

"We are going to beach- wanna come?" Pope asked

No one answered

"Ok? You don't have to talk to us just do your thing- but are yall coming?" Pope continued and we all stood up ignoring him or should I say walking past him

In the twinki, I felt anger burning my whole body, I just really needed to tell them my opinion.

"I hate you guys-" I shouted our of blue

"What?" Pope asked confused looking back from the passenger seat

"How did that feel like? When your supposed to be friends tell that?" I asked upset

"Woah kie you need to chill out-" John b said

"Oh shut up- Why should I even be friends with you guys? Your reckless." I asked myself

"You say that about jj? He's spending probably the best life without us" pope laughed and turned back too the road

"He sure is" John b agreed

God I hated them, for underestimate jj.

~jjs pov~

I needed fresh air so I walked too the beach, I didn't wash my bloody scars, I guess I forgot, because my wrists and arms got numb...

I walked all the beach along
Remembered the good old times we used to laugh and surf all-day. What did I do wrong? Oh really jj? Your probably the problem. It's obvious.

I sat down on the sand a little, and cried into my knees. I looked into the deep ocean wondering, if I could see myself and the crashed plane somewhere. But maybe I already drowned. And God is waiting till I am doing the move to an end.

I had taken some pills with me, they probably were my Dad's. I swallowed them like candy, not bothering how much I actually took.

I stayed there till I was shivering, I stood up and just walked that soon turned into running..

~kies pov~

We walked the beach all together the boys were closer the ocean, while we walked not in their near.

"I hate them" I said

"Kie, you can't" Sarah replied

"She's rigth you cant" cleo agreed

Then a boy bumped into John b

"Sorry dude" I heard a familiar voice. Jj.
His voice was cracking, and I didn't believe what I saw.

"Jj?" John b asked holding jjs shoulders

"My bad" jj replied and walked past us

"Dude-" pope shouted but jj was already gone

John b was staring at the same place he looked when jj was there. Shocked and worried

"His wrists-" pope whispered and started to freak out

I watched jj walk further away from us. And it hurted seeing the blood dripping down his arms

"Cheese on bread-" cleo screwed

"Ouch." Sarah added

"We need to-" John b started but I cuted him of

"I'm sorry what?" I asked

"I said we should fin-" he started again

"Find him? why?! Is the little smart ass regretting something?" I asked annoyed

"Kie." John b said but I walked away into jjs direction

~jjs pov~

I knew these voices and faces but deep inside I couldn't tell who it really was-
Are these tablets giving me alzheimer?

"JJ!!" A girl shouted

I turned around but Shit. I can't see anything everything blurred

"WAIT!!" The girl screamed

I don't know what the hell happend but I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my heart and then everything slowly became black.

~kies pov~

"Jj!!" I shouted running to him

He walked slower and slower by the minutes he turned around searching where I called from

But he looked unstable
He lost his balance and collapsed

"SARAH!" I shouted
They came running to me helping me with jj

"Dude- these are deep ones" pope said looking at jjs wrists

"WAKE UP" I shook him
"Jj please" I sobbed