Finding Happiness

chapter 97

Noah knocked on Riley's door but were met with Riley calling "go away" from the other side of the door.

"We need to talk" Noah said.

Riley didn't want to talk however she didn't want to annoy Noah, Sebastian didn't want her anymore so she couldn't have Noah wanting the same, at least that's what she thought.

She reluctantly opened the door but her neutral look turned into a glare when she saw Sebastian.

"Why is he here" she asked.
"Like I said we need to talk" Noah said walking in. He was done with the bullshit in the family.

"I have nothing to say to him" Riley said. It hurt Sebastian but he knew he deserved it.

"Fine, tell me and Sebastian can just listen"  Noah said taking a seat on her bed.

"Get off my bed" Riley quickly said not liking it at all.

Noah didn't realize it was actually effecting her, he just saw it as her being annoyed with him and not wanting to talk. "Sure I'll move but let's just talk first" he replied.

As angry as Riley was, her mind was elsewhere, she didn't register her brothers to be her brothers. She saw it as two men in her room, one sat on the bed, one standing in the doorway preventing her from leaving.

"About what" Riley whispered, she was only complying because of the fear.

Sebastian was still stood at the door way, he didn't want to enter without Riley's permission, he knew he was unwelcome there but she seemed off somehow. He moved slightly, but he noticed Riley look at his movement.

She was scared. Of himself? Probably.

"Noah" Sebastian said.

"Hm"

"We will talk to her in a little bit" he made the decision that she want to talk.

"Fine" Noah stood, he didn't know why Sebastian changed his mind but he trusted his reasons.
As soon as they were out of the room, Riley found her confidence. "Don't bother I won't want to talk later"

"And why is that" Noah asked.

"Because I have nothing to say to him. Everything I said before I meant it. He's heartless, he's a monster and he's not my brother" Riley was adement.

Noah was struggling with this, on one hand Sebastian deserved this, his attitude was awful but Riley was now crossing a line too.

"I understand you are annoyed with him" Noah started.

"How can you understand, you don't even know what he did"

"Oh believe me I do and it was disgusting, he never should have said such horrific words to you but I promise you , he has a good reason and all I ask is you hear him out and then if you decide you still want to hate him then that's okay" Noah tried, he knew she wouldnt hate him as much after he told her his reasons.

"No. I don't care, hes nothing to me. I suppose his excuse was he was getting hit by father, well guess what, my stepfather abused me too and I'm not like him. You can't blame your father for how shitty you are" Riley said.

Sebastian hadn't spoken but he decided to take the risk and speak up "Riley I'm so sorry, like Noah said, just let me explain and after that you can hate me but I need you to know my reasons" Sebastian's voice broke multiple times as he spoke.

"I don't care about your stupid reasons. I'm done with you.  Leave me alone, don't ever talk to me"

Sebastian sighed and nodded "if that is what you want I will leave you alone"

"I do want that. I don't want you in my life...I hate you"

Sebastian didn't have any words so walked off and Noah wanted to follow, Sebastian wasn't in a good way and what Riley had said made him worry.

"Riley he told me what he said, how he brought up Kevin and friends, yes he was completely in the wrong, it was fucked up but Riley what you just said is out of line as well. I know you probably don't see it that way but it is. I won't be giving you any consequences because I understand you are annoyed with him and yes he might deserve a cold shoulder and a lot of insults but he does not deserve what you said to him" Noah spoke gently to her so she would understand.

"Go have dinner" he added and walked off to find Sebastian.

Trigger warning, self harm cutting...it won't be implied like usual and instead it's written in a little detail
so please don't read the rest of the chapter if this effects you.

Sebastian had gone to his room. His little sister hated him but he deserved it. He knew it was impossible to forgive him, he didn't even forgive himself. He was hurting so much. He didn't want to feel this way. He knew he told Noah he wouldn't but he couldn't help it. He slowly made it to the bathroom and took the blade he had hidden from Noah out. He held it in his hands. It was shiny and as he pressed it to his skin, it felt cold, he pressed it deeper.

One cut. He hated himself

Two cuts. He was fucked up.

Three cuts. Riley was right, the abuse was no excuse....but he had to do those things to protect his brothers, right?

Four cuts. He was disgusted with himself.

Five cuts. The pain he caused his family.

Six cuts...he deserved his father's abuse.

Seven cuts...the words

His hands were shaking by this point, he was sat in tears on the bathroom floor with blood pouring from his arm. He hated this feeling so much. He dropped the blade in dispare.

Noah opened Sebastian's bedroom door, he didn't see him so he walked in, his eyes went to the open bathroom door and he saw Sebastian sitting with blood dripping from his arm.

"Sebastian" he shouted as he practically ran over.