Crossing all the lines

Honesty

"Do you think the world could go on without us? That we could stay here and build our own life?" My thoughts wondered aloud as I stared at the ceiling with a delusional depth.

The empty space made me wish we could have a new start, together, somehow. But I knew we couldn't have that, not now at least. It was too soon.

"I wish that would be an option." She replied in a tired sigh as her arm wrapped itself around my waist, bringing herself closer as she laid her head on my chest gently.

Laying on the bed, we enjoyed the silence that surrounded us, making us feel calm and safe.

"But don't you think, that we need to believe in this? That we need something to look forward to?" I added, hoping for her to see my point as I caressed her hair softly.

"I think, I think we should enjoy this day after day, I think this is enough to make us happy, for now." I agreed, yet something in me dreamed of more, of so much more.

I wanted to be able to visualize my future with her, but there was her family, and I'd never ask her to choose between them and myself. This was just impossible.

"Your heart beats so fast." She smiled against me, making me blush silently.

"That's what you do to me, you make my heart beat faster, you make shivers run down my spine, you make my body go numb." Looking up, she slowly, very slowly leaned in to capture my lips in a brief instant. The kiss had been quick, yet soft. The night was falling on the town as darkness slowly started to overwhelm us.

"Tell me how you managed to be with me. I wanna know."

She leaned back, her eyes avoiding mine as she got off of my arms, leaving me cold and lonely. Swallowing hard, I rolled on my right side to face her. She was staring at the ceiling, biting her nails, as though something was tormenting her.

"I was having this perfect dinner with my family and his parents, everything was just so beautiful, so clean and elegant. I should have been happy and thankful, but instead of that I felt guilty, not because I was faking my feelings, but because you weren't there, and that didn't seem to be fair." She started, catching my attention.

I stayed silent, letting her go on. I knew it was hard for her to let me in, and so I felt grateful that she tried, for me.

"Suddenly I realized that I wanted, needed to be with you. So I stood up, I grabbed my keys and I left, without saying anything. There wasn't anyone else I wanted to be with on that special day, not even them. This is so cruel to say, what is wrong with me?" She hid her face behind her palms as I could see tears falling down the side of her cheek while her voice broke.

"I'm such a monster! I should be enjoying my children's company and be a good wife, and instead of that, all I wanna do is be in your arms and love you all night long."

Sighing, I grabbed her hands and kissed them one after the other before I turned her toward me, wrapping my arm around her waist to keep her close.

"You're not a monster, you're an extraordinary mom, your children love you more than anything, no matter what, they won't blame you for this. They don't even have to know where you truly are. I don't want to keep you away from them. When I fell in love with you, I fell in love with the wonderful, amazing human being that you are, not only the woman I saw every day at school, but the passionate, loving woman that you are, as well as a fantastic mother. I fell in love with you as a whole, not with a part of you."

She seemed to feel better the more I talked, so I kept on going, hoping this would stop her shattered tears.

"You are an angel, to them, to him, to me, you're an angel sent on earth to illuminate our lives, you don't even need to try, you just happen to be radiant and stunning in everything that you do, in everything that you are, and we're all grateful for having you in our lives."

Her tears didn't stop, but I could tell that they were now happy, relieved ones.

"And if the world was to stop for one moment, I'd want to spent this moment with you, and with your children, I'd wanna learn everything about them, about you, about your life, I'd wanna be there for you all, because I love you, and I love them."

Smashing her lips against mine, her short breath melted into mine, making my body shakes under her touch as her hands danced around my waist possessively. What happened afterwards I cannot tell, for it is to remain a secret between us, but I'll admit, that it was everything I was dreaming of, it was beautiful, and deep, as deep as our love was.