Crossing all the lines

By her side

"I don't want to hold you back." I had received in the middle of the night as a light crept into the bedroom, illuminating the warm sheets that covered me up to my chin.

Staring at my phone in worry and nervousness, I re-read the text and hoped it didn't mean what I thought it meant. She couldn't let go of me, not like that, not after our conversations. She just couldn't. I needed to hold onto her, and so I sent something back.

"You're not holding me back. I'm yours. It's that simple."

I exhaled hard, hoping she wouldn't question my love for her. She seemed to question a lot of things lately, I couldn't tell if she meant anything she said at all, one moment she seemed to love me more than anyone else, and the next she seemed to want me away, thing that scared me deeply.

"You could be with someone your age, someone who could take you out on a date, someone who could dance with you in public, you could be with him."

What was that about? Why the sudden change of heart? Sighing, I stood up and left the room to sit on the ground of the corridor. Dialing her number, I waited for her soft voice to reply. It took her a few minutes to take my call, I could easily picture her bitting her lower lip in doubt.

"Hello?" Smiling to myself, I breathed in and out silently, in a kind of comforting way. I just needed to hear her, her voice and her breathing. I needed her here with me.

"Who's him?" I finally let out, cursing at myself for making her scared, for letting her think there was someone else beside her.

"Nathan." She whispered as her voice cracked under the pressure of the call.

Sighing, I suddenly hated myself for spending the night with him at that party, I should have known she would see us and think something totally wrong.

"Nathan means nothing. He's just a good friend." I explained, hoping for her to believe me.

I didn't think of her as insecure, but this situation proved me otherwise. She needed someone to take care of her, someone to reassure her and comfort her, and I wanted to be this person for her.

"But he has so much more to offer than me. I'm your teacher, and I'm twice your age, and I'm married and I have children. I can't do that to you. You deserve so much more Madison."

Hearing her say my name was a pure blessing, and for all of those reasons she had just mentioned, I found them irrelevant. I didn't care about her age, or about her situation, I loved her. But I couldn't tell her that, not now at least, not over the phone.

"I want to be with you. Nothing you'll say will change my mind Emma."

I could hear her smile through the phone. I knew she needed me to be here as well, and so I'd stay for as long as she'd need me.

"I wish you could be here. I miss you. So much." She cried, breaking my heart instantly. I had never had anyone crying over me, and knowing it was her made me overwhelmed. I let a tear fall down my cheek as I listened to her.

"I'm here Emma. I won't let you go. I promise."

That's when I got an idea, a stupid one, an idea that would probably get me into troubles if anyone saw me, but I had a plan in mind. Standing up, I tiptoed down the corridor in search of her room. It was on the other side, near the window. Knocking on the door , I still heard her cry into the phone, making me hope she would open the door quickly so that I could hold her.

"I gotta go. Someone's there. I'll call you back later."

I could tell she was trying her best to erase her tears as I heard her shuffle through some things. Ending the call, I heard her rush toward the door. That was it. Opening it slowly and carefully, probably expecting it to be Mr.Pepper, she glanced toward me and gasped. Stepping in, I didn't give her time to say anything and pulled her into my arms after closing the door for her. I was only wearing my underwear with an oversized shirt which made the situation quite complicated if anyone found us, but I didn't care at this point. I just wouldn't let her cry to sleep. Her arms quickly wrapped themselves around my body as her face hid in the crook of my neck, placing kisses along my flesh. Sighing in happiness, I appreciated the feeling of her body against mine; of her hair against my cheek and of her hands on my lower back.

"I missed you." She repeated over and over between her kisses. Smiling, I stepped back and faced her only to see that she was crying again.

"I got so scared, I'm sorry. I just don't want to lose you." She breathed out, tearing my heart apart.

"I'm here, with you. And I won't leave." I captured her teary gaze before it fell on my lips.

Smiling at the gesture, I grabbed her hands gently and led her toward the bed where I made her sit. Straddling her, I placed my own hands on her cheeks, and waited. I wanted her to make the first move. Biting my lip, I knew this would tease her. And so it did. She leaned in slowly, brushing her lips against mine slowly, delicately. And then, she kissed me. It was so smooth, so passionate. Like we had been waiting for it for years. Her hands got lost within my hair somehow as she pulled on them, tearing a moan out of me.

"I want to make you feel how much I care about you." She whispered between my lips, before attacking my jawline, down to my neck.

Letting my head fall back, I gave her more access to my skin. But I had to be reasonable here. Facing her, I captured her lips once more, making myself memories, taking in their flavour. Sucking on her lip, she moaned, creating a fire within me.

"We can't. Not now. You said it yourself. You have things to take care of first. And I don't want you to regret it. Plus, we could easily get caught."

A groan escaped her lips as she inversed our position, making me lay on the fresh mattress, her body now above mine. Breathing me in, she caught my lips and wouldn't let go.

"I'm so tired of fighting, I want you."

Blushing hard, I made the kiss more slow, more smooth, something deep, as the murmure of our love.

"I love you." She whispered as she plunged her eyes into mine, making me blush harder than I had ever did.

She loved me, she truly loved me. Smiling tenderly, I felt tears running down my cheeks. She kissed every one of them, from my cheeks, to my eyes to my nose, to end with my mouth.

"I love you too." I confided in a broken voice.

We were one, we loved each other, and that was all that mattered to me in that moment. I just didn't wanna let go of her.

"Stay here with me. I just wanna hold you through the night."

I had to admit it was tempting, but what if someone caught us? What if we had to explain ourselves to Mr.Pepper ? or to other students?

"You think too much." She pecked my lips.

"It will be okay. I promise. We'll just say you were sick and fell asleep in here." She caressed my hair gently, making me smile at the gesture.

She was being so sweet. Nodding, I watched as her eyes started to sparkle. She took hold of my lips one more time, only this time, this kiss was saying thank you. It was full of gratitude and relief. Laying against one another, I let her wrap her arms around me, bringing me closer as she covered us with the sheets. Our nose brushed each other, and our breaths hit each other's flesh quite nicely. This was nice, and comfortable. I didn't wanna be anywhere else.

"I love you Madison." It had been a light whisper, almost an inaudible one. But I had caught on her words.

"I love you too Emma, forever." I caressed her waist under the sheets before wrapping my arm around her, making our bodies touch. I had never experienced something so soothing, so right. And as we closed our eyes, something in me lighted up, something warm and fuzzy. Something that felt like home. She was my home, and I'd never let go.