Infidelity

3

The day goes by very quickly but to me everything seems to be moving slowly. I don't really catch anything from any of my classes and the conversation I engage in are mostly the other person talking to themselves.

Sphesihle ditches me via a text. Her excuse is something about her boyfriend begging to see her. Honestly, I really think she should leave that boy. She's definitely too good for him.

I am relieved though because I don't think I'll be good company and I don't really want anyone around me. I head straight home after my classes. I considered going to work but I quickly dismissed that idea when thought about the lecture Bra white would give me about extra hours making him lose money. That man really gets annoyed when he has to pay us what is due to us. I'm quite sure that if a genie granted him three wishes, all of them would be to split himself into two every time he needed a new employee.

I sigh and a chuckle escapes me.

When I get into my apartment I try burying myself in my schoolwork but I can't get anything done. I can barely concentrate.

My phone rings again for the 20th time. I've been ignoring it purposely because I don't really want to face my dad but I don't want to get him all worked up so I call him back. My dad knows me better than anyone. He can tell when I'm not feeling okay.

He answers on the second ring.
"Hey sweetheart, how are you?" He says calmly but I can still sense the suspicion in his voice.

"I'm okay. I just have a lot of schoolwork, that's it." I feel like crying and putting it all out there in the open but just like I said, I don't want him to be worried about me.

"Are you avoiding me, love? I thought we agreed on video calls." He's too calm for my liking.  He knows something is wrong but he likes to thread lightly first without jumping the gun.

I let out a deep breath.

"Today was very hectic baba(dad). I have plenty of assignments and I also have to work" I lie. Blatantly. To the man who always tries by all means to be honest with me. I don't like lying to him. It feels so wrong.

"Excuses, excuses. That has never been a problem before," He's so right and I hate it.

"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you I promise. Everything is just too much and I'm only just struggling to cope," This is not a lie though, but I can't go into detail because he'll just show up at my doorstep.

"It's that boy, isn't it?" He's got it but he is not quite sure. It's not that my father doesn't like him, he's just an overprotective father.

"No!" I'm too aggressive and it makes everything so obvious.

"Okay. But just so you know if he does anything to hurt my little princesses, I'll deal with him personally." I don't like how he's letting it go so easily but I'm glad because I seriously don't have the energy to be on Sandile's defence team.

I just hope he's isn't getting a ticket for the first bus that comes here.

"I'll let him know." I fake a laugh. "I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart." He ends the call.

I put my phone on the table and I cover my face with my hands. I let out a deep breath as I rub my temples with my fingers. Another call comes in. I see Sandile's name and I let it ring. I decide to answer it when he calls for the third time. I put it on loudspeaker.

"What do you want?" I ask him. My voice is stern.
"Is that what we do now?"

He's already playing the victim card.

"It's a simple question. I really have a lot to do and I have work tomorrow so just get on with it." There's no emotion in my voice.

"I want you." His tone has changed. He sounds desperate.

"I want you too" A tear rolls down my cheek and my voice is teary.

"Please don't cry. I know I was an idiot yesterday. I'm sorry." His apology sounds sincere and I actually believe him.

"It's not just about yesterday, it's about the past four years. I've been ignoring it thinking that it would go away but it has only gotten worse over the years. Every year on the first of June, I've had to put up with your tantrums, your mood swings and your verbal abuse. I've put up with it because I love but you won't let me in and you won't let me help you." I burst out in tears.

He doesn't say anything.

"Is it the issue with your dad?" This is a very sensitive and delicate topic. I'm skating on thin ice here.

"No!" He snaps at me. Even he's not next to me, I still flinch. "I'm so sorry I..." I end the call, denying him the chance to explain. I really don't want to hear about his excuses. I switch off my phone and I try really hard to concentrate on my work. It works and I finish in no time. I get so frustrated when I'm done because doing nothing ensures that I think about him. I check the time and it's only 8p.m. I groan as I get up to make some dinner. I whip up some pasta but I suddenly lose my appetite when I'm done cooking.

I put the food in the microwave oven and I head to the bathroom to take a shower. After what seems like an hour of crying and scolding myself, I emerge feeling worse than I was earlier on. I look for some snacks and I grab the pasta. I pick out the cheesiest romcom to watch. Romcoms always do the trick when I'm feeling like a hot and cold mess but unfortunately today nothing seems to be working.

I cry so much and I end up passing out on the couch. I dream about him holding me. We're laughing and cuddling. Everything is perfect. Everything will be perfect, we just have to go through this month and everything will be okay after that.