My Love, My Bonded

Chapter Eleven

*warning - there is a slight mention of physical abuse, very brief and in the first few paragraphs. if you feel uncomfortable (which is totally understandable), feel free to skip down a few paragraphs or the chapter if need be. take care of yourself first!

Rey barely slept the night away. Originally, worries bombarded her of the day about to come. After a while, her traumatic past came flooding in. She thought she had pushed them away after being ever so grateful for her room in the base. Unfortunately, trauma has a way of finding you and dragging you down to it's maniacal level. 

Memories flashed cruelly through her mind, creating the most vicious of domino effects where each thought became darker and the worst moments of her life played repeatedly. She thought of Plutt and his large hands, his large dirty hands. The hands that struck her, the hands that held back her necessities, the hands that dragged her into the life of a slave, the hands that threw her and scolded her and-

Silent, wet tears streamed down her face at the memory. She hated him for every pain he caused her.

Rey felt the familiar twinge of the bond but did not care enough to acknowledge it. Instead, she swept the tears off of her face, hiding the damp evidence. Cautiously, a gentle hand crept on her own hand and she flinched. The hand recoiled away within an instant and she silently cursed herself. Her stubbornness might not admit that she craved the comfort but her heart did. She sucked in a deep sigh, knowing instantly who was with her in that lonesome moment and contemplated talking to him.

"Ben," she sniffled, not looking around to see him. His hand went slowly to her hand again and instead of flicking the hand off, she relished in the warmth it provided. Her stomach started twirling and dancing, performing a small ballet in the pit of her stomach. She placed hers atop of his and gave him a kind squeeze. Her heartrate steadily increased at his touch, the butterflies skipping in her stomach increasing their dramatic performance.

"Rey," Kylo Ren said quietly. He lowered himself onto her bed with a careful intent. She felt the bed dip at his weight. This caused her body to inadvertently turn to him as she now laid on her back. She kept her eyes down, fearful of showing more emotion than she was willing to.

His hand trailed down her fingers. He placed it between both of his own, holding onto it as if it was an antique that needed the utmost care and affection when handled. His normally harsh eyes were lighter, holding genuine worry and discomfort rather than the cold wall she stared into many times before. Rey couldn't help herself and let her own eyes study his.

They were a deep, rich color, small pools of black and brown swirled together. The light from the moons and stars caused soft twinkles to sparkle on them. They were undeniably beautiful and they sucked the life right out of her. Suddenly, his eyes dropped from hers and examined her hand with his. He drew comforting shapes in her palm, giving it a light squeeze here and there to remind her of his presence.

"Rey," Kylo began, not losing his focus with her delicate fingers. "Rey, tell me what happened here."

His brown eyes peered up at her for just a moment. He encased her eyes with his and sent comforting thoughts through the Force. She forced a smile and raised the other hand to her face, pushing back the oncoming tears. She cleared her throat before speaking in a desperate attempt to get rid of that lump that planted itself in there.

"Oh, um," Rey stuttered, clearing her throat once more. "It's nothing, really."

Kylo looked at her, his brow arched and his mouth in a thin line. "Rey."

Her cheeks flushed. "I said it's nothing."

He shook his head, making a teasing clicking noise as she had during their last connection. He looked down at her hand again and continued to hold onto it. "I know you and I know when you're upset. If you tell me, I might be able to help."