Our Nanny is a Boy || bxb

10. Falling leaves

The second day of Peter being sick went by smoothly. Just like usually, Robin had dropped Felicia off at school and cleaned the house while David was still sleeping -he didn't have to wake the toddler up since Peter was home-, and after he woke the boy, they played together downstairs, ate lunch...

When David was asleep Robin had some free time and spent a small hour with Peter, woke David up again at 3PM and took him to pick up Felicia from school again and then played with the both of them, and had just started cooking.

Peter, laying in his bed, unable to sleep again, heard it all. From time to time Robin would come to his room to give him water and medicine, check his temperature and ask how he was feeling, sometimes they would have small conversations. The boy had confirmed that he would be taking care of Peter for this and next week, and he'd even said he didn't want money but Peter would not accept that, he'd definitely give the boy a huge bonus with his pay this month.

With lunch, Robin had prepared it in a way they could eat it on Peter's bed. David had been very excited, so that Robin had to tell him multiple times to be quiet. Still, Peter had really enjoyed it, that tiny and warm body squirming in between them, and Robin's laughter mixed in with that of the two-year-old. It almost made him feel like they were a family, a very small and happy family.

Though that thought started bothering him afterwards. He vividly remembered how he and Leah were when they only had Felicia, before she fell ill. After David's birth they would still have these moments, but they became less and less until Leah was too exhausted to even laugh, and she would get an headache if David or Felicia made any sounds. In the end she hadn't even been able to say goodbye properly because she could barely open her eyes. Felicia would just quietly hold her hand and that was the only way she could interact with her mom.

While these images of the last weeks before she left and of Felicia's pale face when she saw her mom flashed through his mind, his head started to hurt again, and no medicine could help against the throbbing pain that seemed to be both in his head and in his heart.

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Late at night, long after he had heard Robin go to the spare room and the house became quiet, he curled into a ball and broke down.

Was it because he had so much time to think that she dominated his thoughts again? The pain in his chest grew bigger and bigger, it grew so big that it felt as if it could explode any minute, but it didn't. It hurt even more like this, if it could just explode, it would be out. But now it just stayed there, thudding mercilessly and taking his breath away. Her face, her smile, just slamming into his head, memories following each others quicker and quicker until they exploded into that image he would never forget, her pale face, so serene, without a movement or even a breath...in a coffin.

That moment, she looked younger than when she was ill. She looked more alive than back then, but he knew deep down she wasn't, it was an illusion, an illusion he had fallen for and tricked himself with time after time.

It hurts...

He was gasping for air, his crying had gotten bad to the point where could barely breathe, when he heard a door opening somewhere outside of the memories that trapped him, and two hands grabbed his shoulders softly, shaking them. Robin called out his name.

The memory lost its clarity, fading in his mind, slowly being replaced with that of caring Robin hugging Felicia, cute Robin wearing the apron with a bright smile on his face, talented Robin drawing, shy Robin offering to stay with him, a smiling omelette, beautiful Robin holding David on the swing, adorable Robin threatening him...