Hope.

• Chapter 20 •

• Luca •

"Luca, can I ask you something?" Fatima asked, eyeing me carefully.

"Yeah," I said, sceptically. My mind immediately started thinking about the reasons for why she sounded so unsure. And as usual, I started overthinking the possibilities.

"Well, I saw two girls kissing outside and I was just wondering...Why are they doing that? Is that allowed here?"

My eyes widened in realization. I forgot how against Saudi Arabia was against homosexuality. I never really talked about this much since our whole family had clearly expressed their hatred towards homosexuality. Though, Angela wasn't as against it as mami was.

"I, uh, yeah," I stuttered out. "It's allowed,"

"But isn't it wrong?" She asked, leaning back into her canid. Her food tray left untouched in front of her. It was chicken burgers today and she didn't want to eat it since she didn't know whether it was halal. Plus, her only other option was the terrible mashed potatoes which taste like absolute trash.

"I mean, not really, I guess," I said, feeling my face starting to heat up. I never really talked about this stuff. The only person I knew who wasn't straight was Lily. Well, they just identified as non-binary, I'm not sure how that works and never really bothered to care.

"Isn't it a sin?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

"I don't know," I mumbled, turning my gaze back to my burger and prodding it with my finger mindlessly. For some reason what she had said was bothering me. Not in the disgust, which it would have been for my parents, but in the my-heart-pounding-really-hard bothered.

It got me overthinking stuff and I was freaking myself out.

"Hey, guys," I heard Tyler say and my gaze immediately shot up to meet his. My heart started pounding harder against my chest and I felt a feeling of uneasiness spread through my body.

"H-hi," I choked out, feeling my face turn warm. He shot me a curious look before his warm smile replaced his features once more. I knew he could sense that I was anxious. He seemed to be really good at that.

Lately, I've been more anxious than ever when I was around him, though, I couldn't quite figure out why.

"Do you mind if I sit with you guys?" He asked, shifting awkwardly from one foot to another.

I hummed in response giving him a short nod. Fatima shot him a bright smile before gesturing for him to sit. My mind was still racing with what Fatima had said, the stupid thing wouldn't get off my mind. Normally, people probably would have dismissed it, so why couldn't I? Why was I so caught up in something so irrelevant and why did it make me feel weird?

"How's it going?" He asked, as he carefully felt around for his spork. He had chosen the mashed potatoes and let me just say that it is one of the grosses looking things I've ever seen.

"Are you sure you want to eat that?" Fatima asked, scrunching up her nose in disgust. Tyler shrugged and pushed around his potatoes with his spork.

"I bet it's not that bad," he said, before scooping some of the mash-potatoes into his mouth. Fatima had a look of disgust covering her face and I could see Tyler's expression changing. His face turned beet red as he gulped it down. "It was bad,"

Fatima snickered, and I simply shook my head though my stomach was still squirming.

"You are dumb," Fatima said her Arabic accent thickening slightly.

"I guess I am," Tyler admitted rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "I want to eat that delicious pasta Luca made now," he groaned dramatically, and Fatima shot me a look.