MATEO || bxb

- 27 -

| Mateo |

I'd gone home for a few days the night after our date. And when I came back round to the Morris house, Cam was at work so Adrian and I hung out alone for a bit. I told him about how I'd seen Cory at the cafe the other day and asked him if I should have told Cam.

"I don't know mate," Ade had replied. "I guess nothing happened, right? Maybe it's okay. Probably just, if you have any more run ins with Cory then yeah maybe tell Cam just to say that you'd seen him but that it's nothing."

I took his advice and promised myself that I'd tell Cam if I ever saw Cory again.

Later, Cam and I were in bed waiting to go to sleep, but it was just like us to still be wide awake, though in fairness it wasn't really that late, at least not to us.

"What are you doing?" he said giggling as I trailed my fingers up and down his arm.

"Nothing," I replied.

I wanted to kiss him so badly. But not just kiss him for a second, make out with him for hours. Be close to him. Hug him to my chest and wrap my legs around him. Trap him in my embrace and never let him go. Making out in this bed forever.

When I got like this around Cam, I had to hold myself back though and keep myself in check. I worried if I told Cam any of that he would get uncomfortable, maybe even scared, and that would break my heart more than anything for him to be scared of me. But he was the guy I was into, my almost-boyfriend, it was only natural that I wanted to be intimate with him. I had to try and not feel guilty because I wanted him and just make sure my actions weren't too much for him.

"You're lying," he said. "You can tell me. I want to know."

I shook my head, our noses brushing against one another. "It's really nothing," I told him trying my best to sound convincing.

"Mateo," Cam said turning my head with his hand around my jaw so that we were looking right into each other's eyes. How I loved the greys of his. They were like clouds before it was about to rain. "If... if you want something, just say so. Worst that could happen is I say no, right? Besides, wouldn't it be great if we both wanted the same thing?"

It was like he was trying to hint at something, but I just wasn't sure. "What are you saying mi amor?"

"I'm... I'm saying I want to know what you're thinking, because maybe I'm thinking the same thing too," he replied.

I laid there quiet trying to piece together whether it really was a good idea for me to tell him. Ultimately, what would I even say? Just that I wanted to make out with him, hold him, and that wasn't so bad, right? Like he said, the worst that could happen is that he says no in which case I'd just keep waiting until he was ready to say yes.

"I just want you Cam," I told him. "Just to make out with you for so long we forget what time it even is. And... and I want your body against mine. That's... that's the truth. You know I won't be upset if you say no."

He thought about it for a moment and then leant his head closer to mine. "I'm not saying no. To any of it," he said his lips so close they brushed against mine as he talked. I didn't waste time and moved forward as well so I could finally kiss him.

I took it slow not wanting to rush him and giving him plenty of time to pull back if he felt things had got too far. But he reciprocated my kiss even when it got more heated. And when I pushed my body against his, inch by inch, he pushed right back until we were a tangle of limbs in the sheets, lips attacking the other, tongues dancing. I was worried any minute I'd wake up and it was all a dream, but the longer it went on, the more awake I felt.