MATEO || bxb

- 2 -

| Camden |

It had been my first official shift at the Suzie's Smoothies on Saturday. The first couple hours mainly consisted of training. My manager, Alara, had been chattering the whole time about one thing or another as she taught me how to work the till and actually make the smoothies. I didn't mind though. It was nice to talk about mindless gossip sometimes and I didn't feel so bad about it when it all happened to be about people I didn't even know.

"Anyway, so she's keeping the baby," Alara finished. "Good, that looks perfect. Well done. I think you're all set then," she complimented on the final smoothie she had me make.

"Thanks. Can't believe it about the baby though. He's not gonna help at all?" I said carrying on the conversation as if I was enthralled. Always good to be on decent terms with your boss after all.

"Apparently, he's refusing to give a penny, at least until the DNA test is back. Mind you, I kind of have a feeling it might not be his as well," she said.

"Alara!" I joked.

"I know! You mustn't tell a soul." I didn't have anyone to tell but I was sure she'd already told half the people she knew.

She watched over me for a while after that as I worked things on my own with the customers and when she was happy with my performance, she slipped into the back to do whatever it was that managers needed to do.

I decided I quite liked working here. The customers didn't talk to me too much and when they did, they were all very friendly. And I liked making the smoothies; adding the right amount of fruit and juices and watching it all come together in the end. I liked the blueberry ones best, not for the taste for I wasn't such a huge fan of that, but for the colour, such a vibrant blue.

When I was done, I took the bus home. I was glad I'd found a job so quickly, so I had something to do this summer that wasn't just sitting around waiting for my A level results. Last summer I'd spent all my time with my friends, which obviously wasn't much of an option for me anymore. Even if I was still friends with them like I used to be, I couldn't bring myself to go to anymore parties because that was all we did last year. It had been fun in all fairness, up until the one time it wasn't.

Sometimes I think maybe the world is just some cruel sadist who throws shit at people to cause them pain they don't deserve just because it enjoys their suffering. I don't think I, or anyone else, deserved the kind of thing that happened to me. But it happened and here I am with my world now turned upside down. I hate the way my parents look at me like I'm broken now, my brother especially, even though none of them even know what happened. And it's not like I could ever tell them. It would break their heart and besides, almost a year later and I still can't say the word. That one word that perfectly encompasses exactly what happened to me.

I was in a world of my own, thought after thought running through my head like they often did, when I reached home. That must have been why I never noticed the other presence in the room until it was too late for me to hide.

"Cam," Was all I heard at first. A faint whisper, almost like he was remembering how to say my name again. And I was certainly remembering the way my name sounded on his lips when that voice jolted me out of overthinking and brought me back to reality. Though it didn't feel like reality at all because Mateo had not been in my reality for a long time.

"Mateo," I whispered back. I wonder if my eyes had looked as wide as I felt they were. My shock froze me in my spot as I took in the sight of my hero from last year.

He looked mostly the same as last summer, older maybe, definitely more tanned. He'd grown his hair out a little longer, so it hung lower in his eyes now. I'd seen him post a picture with his hair like that a few months ago and decided to grow mine out too. I wonder when he looked at me, did he see me as I am now, or did he see me as I was then, that night?