MATEO || bxb

- 10 -

| Camden |

When I woke up, the sun was shining directly onto my face from a crack in my curtain that I hadn't closed properly the night before. But I hadn't felt so well rested in a long time and I wondered what had been different that night. And then I finally heard the faint sound of someone else's breath and felt the arm around me and almost had a panic attack at the thought of someone else in my bed.

But when I turned around and saw that it was Mateo, the events of last night rushing to the forefront of my mind, my mind relaxed and my body calmed down. He had been pretty drunk and apparently my brother smells and I don't know what came over me that I offered up my bed so easily.

He'd laid with me that night that I was hurt, and I just remembered the feeling of him in my bed so vividly. There was a warmth and comfort and feeling of safety that he provided that I had yet to find again. Maybe I just wanted to feel that again. Maybe I wanted to be close to someone again.

He was peaceful as he slept, but his hair was a mess sprawled out on my pillow and he stunk of alcohol and sweat. Good thing I managed to get him to brush his teeth at least last night. And though he was not in his most perfect state, I still thought he was beautiful, perfect in his own imperfect way.

I didn't move his hand off me and instead turned my body to fully face him and observed the face that I longed for. His lashes were long and curved which had always given his eyes a feminine touch despite the otherwise masculine features of his face. His jaw chiseled, faint cheekbones, tanned skin that shone golden in the sunlight, his hair dark and brown. Maybe I should stop dying my own hair blonde and go back to my natural brown, which was shades lighter than his, but we would still match in a way.

I don't know when in the night we had both crawled closer to each other. When we got into bed we'd been as far away from each other as the bed allowed and now, we were basically cuddling. It was only then that I realised I'd slotted my leg right next to his and pushed my body closer to his side.

It was risky, but I found myself bringing my hand to his face. My finger lightly trailed the length of his eyebrow and then I pulled away, feeling embarrassed and grateful that he was still asleep. And I knew that if Mateo woke up with his arm around me, he would be embarrassed as well, ashamed even. He had this habit of thinking every touch was like he was brandishing me in pain not realising that his touches were the only ones that didn't sting like everyone else's. If I could be more open about my feelings, I would tell him he could touch me all he wanted.

I got up, slowly moving his arm off me so as not to wake him. When I saw him grip the pillow that I had just been resting my head on, a small smile lingered on my face. He said I smelt nice last night, maybe my pillow held that same smell and he wanted it close.

I slipped to the bathroom and did my morning routine knowing I wouldn't be going back to sleep and deciding to get ready for the day instead. When I returned to my room, I found Mateo awake and was glad I had brought clothes with me to the bathroom for after my shower. I would have turned a deeper shade of red than a tomato if I had had to return to my room in just a towel for Mateo to see me like that.

"Morning," he groaned very much in pain from what I was sure was a terrible hangover headache. One thing about drinking I definitely did not miss were the mornings after.

"Good morning," I said putting my old clothes in the laundry bin in my closet.

"Wait... what the fuck," Mateo said forcing himself to sit up and look at his surroundings. "Why am I in your bed. Where's Adrian?"

I just chuckled. "You said he smells, and you didn't want to sleep in his bed so I offered mine."

"Ah fuck."