MATEO || bxb

- 17 -

| Mateo |

When I went home, I just needed a little space to think about some things. I'd almost kissed Cam and if I needed to figure whether that was the right move or not, then I couldn't do that while around him.

So, I returned home that day. When I got back mum and Marc were in, but I ignored them and went straight to my room. Soon I had a knock on my door, Lilliana, she was so apologetic about asking me to stay for dinner that my heart broke a little. I never wanted her to think any problems I had with mum was her fault and I told her as such.

"She riles me up easily. There's too much history. I don't think we can ever go back to how things used to be, at least not while she still refused to acknowledge what she did or even say sorry," I told her. "It's nothing to do with you. You did nothing wrong. So, apology not accepted because you really having to apologise for."

"Okay. If you're sure?" she asked.

"I'm sure."

I must have gotten in a trance thinking about Cam because soon Lilliana was asking me what was on my mind.

"I almost kissed a guy I like today," I told her.

She squealed and jumped onto my bed. "Tell me everything!" So I did. "Not you getting cockblocked by his mum."

"I know," I said chuckling though it had been a lot more frustrating than I had let on. I wanted so badly to have been able to kiss him. I hadn't even talked to him about it afterwards, so I had no idea what was going through his head right now.

"Well, you are gonna try again, right?" she asked.

"I don't know. If I kissed him, it would complicate things..."

"Mat, I think things might already be complicated now that you almost did. So, you might as well actually do it. Might as well see what happens. What if you get a boyfriend out of it!"

She had a point there. Although, I don't know how Cam would feel about being my boyfriend, or at least right away. I had a feeling if he wanted me at all, he would probably want to pace the serious things a little slow. No matter how much he seemed to trust me, I think I still had a lot of trust to gain for him to give me his heart completely.

I slept on it for one night and when I woke up, I knew what I wanted to do. Of course I had to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him and let him know how important he'd become to me. I thought about him almost every day and all night in my dreams all I saw was images of us kissing and I just had to know what his lips felt like against mine. I could only hope he felt the same way.

I wasn't really sure how I was going to do it and when he opened the door for me my mind almost blanked for a second, forgetting what I even wanted to do. I knew Adrian and his parents were out so it was the perfect opportunity for me and Cam to be alone so we could talk afterwards as well.

God, Cam was so beautiful. The way his beautiful greys peered up at me through hooded eyes was so enchanting, so enthralling that before I even knew it, I had leant forward and kissed him. My hand found his neck where I gently caressed his skin, my other hand on his waist to hold him steady. His lips were softer than I imagined and when he opened his mouth and our tongues danced together for a few moments I was in total bliss.

Soon he was looking up at me and I was looking down at him as we pulled apart and it took a second for us to both realise what had just happened and then he let out a little relieved laugh and it made me smile.

"You kissed me," he said.

"I did," I replied. "I really wanted to."

"So did I."