Querencia | Finnick Odair

Seven

I blend out his voice, my eyes trained on the image on the wall.

It's not real. It can't be real. It is like the Jabberjays. They made it up. It is not real.

"All that blood on your hands, Talisa."

"You are lying."
"Every word I say is true my dear. I thought we established that we speak the truth early on. Even though your truth was mostly insults."
"I will kill you", I spit out and struggle against the restraints, scream profanities, my wrists turning raw and bloody once again as the President smiles down at me.

"You may start", he says to the man behind me and immediately a blow hits my head. Then my shoulder, and my other shoulder. They remove my restraints and this time I don't fight back, I don't hit away their hands.

I let them strap my hands to the ropes that hang on the ceiling, let them pull them up above my head, do nothing when they rip open the nightgown. And when I feel a whip collide with my back. I don't fight. I let my knees buckle and my arms hold me up.

My body is on fire. Fire in my veins, eating me away from the inside while I can't stop the tears.

This time I welcome the unconsciousness, the dreams, the blackness that absolves me from the pain.

Finnick and I are in my room in the Capitol, a canvas in front of me as he munches on a croissant.

"What are you painting?", he asks.

"Don't know. The beach maybe."
"You know, I am so happy I took you to the beach the day of your victory tour. I got to see the real you for the first time."

"We met on the roof before", I oppose as I try to mix the blues that make the crest of the waves.

"Yes, but there you were tense. On the beach, you were cheeky and laughed and didn't care about anything."
"Yes, for the first time I could just forget", I smile.

"Well, my charm has that effect", he grins and I chuck a little paint at him.

"Heyy", he protests, "you wouldn't want to ruin the masterpiece that is my body"

I grin widely and dunk my brush into the blues, jumping at Finnick and painting his nose blue.

"You just wait", he exclaims and grabs a pot of greens, dunking his fingers in it, running them along my arm.

A paint war breaks loose and soon we are both covered in all colours of the rainbow and I paint Finnicks cheek yellow, bright smiles on both our faces.

"You are so beautiful", Finnick smiles, his hand cupping my cheek, his thumb spreading more of the orange across my face.

I lean in and kiss him, tinting his shirt with even more colours than before as our bodies press together.

"I adore you", I say between kisses.

"I adore you too", he grins and puts more pink colour into my hair.

I wake up to worried calls of Johanna and Gloss. Peeta's cell is empty.

"What happened?"

"They are dead. They are all dead. He killed them. And they are alone. I...He killed him. He killed...", I sob.

"Come here", Gloss mumbles. His face is swollen up and bruised. His fingers were broken and his feet bashed repeatedly.

Johanna looks worse than ever with her shaved head and purple and greenish skin.

They left my hair. It is tangled and knotted and ugly. While they bathed us once, nobody cared for my hair, but that doesn't matter, what matters is that they also left me my necklace. Probably afraid that if they touch it I will kill the person. They are right about that.

I crawl over to the bars connecting my cell to Glosses, hissing in pain every time I move.

"He showed me videos. Of how he killed....everybody. Just everybody. I...I can't take this anymore. I just want this to end. I want to go home. Only that there is nothing left for me there. There is nothing left, Gloss. They are all gone, they...oh god..."
"When all of this is over, we will make ourselves a new home, okay?", he says.

"But when? When will all of this be over? I am just tired. So tired of all of it."
"Listen, we will get through this. Remember when you made Peeta promise to fight? Promise me that now. Because I don't want to lose another sister."

My heart almost melts.

"Promise. I always wanted a brother you know..."

"Cashmere and I. Apart from the training we had to go through, we were normal kids. I teased her a lot, but eventually, she was able to kick my ass, so I stopped. She loved those old children's movies and made me watch them all the time. And I loved her very much, even though I would never say that out loud when I was little."

"I am sorry about Cashmere."

"It was a risk we took and self-defence on your part. I would never have killed you, but the others were a threat and I wanted to get my sister through, so we had to attack."
"You don't have to justify your actions. It is what it is and now all we can do is fight to make it stop."

He smiles weakly. "And my little fighter is back."

"Sneaky", I smile slightly, fighting back the urge to hide within myself. Shut him out.

"What are they doing to Peeta? He is changing. And not to the better."

Gloss sighs. "I don't know. I think they are messing with his mind, he has no wounds"

"Oh by the..., they are changing Katniss. Like, in his head. He called her a mutt."

"Well shit."