Querencia | Finnick Odair

Chapter XXIV

The interviews were something else. My girl screwed up, my boy did okay, Peeta did amazing and wiped everybody off the field. When he admits his love, my jaw falls open. Going into the games with someone you love is the worst kind of torture I can imagine, because either you will lose them by somebody killing them, or you are the last two left or you die first and the one you love is left behind to fight with a broken heart. But of course the Capitol loves it and I am almost happy, because nobody will talk about my girls faux pas, by lifting her dress up too far and her one sentence answers. That worked for Thresh, but not for her.

I already accepted her death and let go of the pain it would cause me.

Of course Finnick and I meet up on the roof that night, sitting on the platform, his arm around my shoulders. He got a twelve year old this year and is already feeling guilty.

"Finn, it's okay. Not really, but it is not your fault, you know that right?", I say as I fiddle with his fingers.

"I do know. But it still feels like I didn't do enough."

"I know. It is hard to accept that you can't really help, but just this time you need to listen to your head."

"You are right. I...", he stops when we hear voices from the roof below. Katniss and Peeta.

We don't hear a lot at first, but we lean forward and are able to catch some part of their conversation. And the things they say make me like them.

"I just...them to change...I am. If I die, I...myself. I want to be more than a piece in their games", Peeta explains to Katniss, but she answers that she can't afford to think that way.

Finnick and I lean back and look at each other. There is understanding in our eyes and pity.

I understand both of them perfectly. But Peetas is going to end up like all of us. Dead or a killer, as a piece in the big game.

The games are about to start and I settled in the lounge, in black jeans and a simple black top and a red flannel tied around my waist. My hair is in a long dutch braid that reaches my waist. Johanna throws herself onto the couch, swinging her legs into my lap.

"Happy Hunger Games", she exclaims and Finnick flops down next to us. "And may the odds be ever in your favour", he grumbles, but then turns and smiles at me. "I ordered hot wings for us. I mean we have to live through this somehow."

"Awww, thanks Finn", I chuckle and lean against him, my eyes trained on the screen as the tributes are elevated onto the platforms. The gong rings out and it is hard to follow the events, but they show Alyce running into the woods and Clentin trying to get orientated and then run for a backpack on the outer part of the clearing, but he clashes into Katniss. They fight over the bright orange bag; then there is a knife in his back. He coughs up blood. "Well shit", I mumble and Finnck gives my shoulder a light squeeze.

Katniss runs off, but still gets a knife in the backpack from the District 2 girl, Clove, who I see as a strong contestant for this years winning position.

Finnicks tribute makes a wrong decision by hiding in the cornucopia and I take his hand to comfort him. He liked the boy and I know that even after our talk last night he blames himself. I am trying to swallow up my sadness over the loss, but I don't blame myself anymore, I blame the Games, the Gamemakers, Snow.

The hot wings arrive and we eat, our eyes not leaving the screen, where the bloodbath is still in full view.

One surprising thing that happened was Peeta Mellark joining the Careers, but I believe that he has an ulterior motive, if his love for Katniss is real. And Haymitch believes that.

It is around 10pm already and I am in a food coma from way to many hot wings and chocolate milkshakes, but Alyce is still moving through the woods and so is Katniss as well as the careers who are hunting.

And I throw my hands in the air and yell profanities at the screen when Alcye starts a fire to keep warm. Not that I don't understand, but she should have listened to me and found a more secure place like a cave or at least a rock overhang. The other mentors look at me, some with sympathy in their eyes others somewhat annoyed. Mostly the Careers, but Gloss sends me a small smile.

I sigh and run my hand over my braided hair again and again, the braid loosening, until Finnick takes my hand with with his and tells me to stop.

"Tally. It is her decision."

"I know! It's just something that we could have easily avoided if she would have just listened. I'm gonna go to bed. Can you fill me in in the morning?"

He nods and with a squeeze of my hand says good night. Johanna smiles at me and I move to the elevator and while waiting for the doors open, bang my head against the wall.

"That can't be good for you", a familiar voice muses.

"Gloss. Oh that's just frustration. It's better to let it out and since I didn't want to scream bloody murder that is the next best option."

"Well I would guess that Odair already told you, but it's not your fault."

"Yeah, I know, but I am just angry. She could have made it further if she tried."

"I luckily don't have that problem. I just have to deal with arrogance and way too much self esteem. Glimmer tried flirting with me all the time. I mean, seriously?"

I chuckle.

"Well, we all got to deal with kids who either think that they will die anyways or think they already know what to do. And both probably die."

"Yeah. Well, we both know that it isn't always the worst option", he says and the elevator finally arrives.

"Yeah, but at least we are alive and somewhat safe", I say and we step inside.

"Safe with lots of issues", Gloss adds and I grin. "Of course."