First There Was You

Chapter 63: Elle

September 2

Loon Call Island, Lake Rosseau, Muskoka

Ring after ring goes unanswered as I call Greyson for the thousandth time.

He hasn't spoken to me since the morning after the funeral, since I'd given him his letter. In fact, he left sometime in the night, leaving me to wake up alone. I'm not even sure he's read it, he's just closed himself away in Theo's boathouse. I'm at my wit's end, trying to get through to him. I'm running on fumes, close to nothing left to give before I crash.

I'm exhausted. Even Ryan had gone home to be with his family, with people who will actually try to connect with him, rather than wait for Greyson to see his pain and reach out to him.

Sitting with my back against the door of Theo's loft, I rest my forehead on my knees.

"Go home, Elle. I'll stay here."

Theo's tired voice is soft, cautious. He's tried to make me go home already, but I don't want to leave.

"I can't leave, Theo. What if he needs me?"

"You're absolutely dead on your feet, Elle. You won't be any use to him if you collapse from exhaustion. Anyway, it wasn't a choice. I called Hud to come to get you."

I look at Theo, the feeling of betrayal stinging as it sweeps through me. "You know I can't leave him."

"Yeah, you can Elle. You will. You've been here nearly two days, you haven't slept, you haven't eaten, you need to shower. Enough is enough. Someone has to look out for you, and since he chose to stay here, with me, I'll keep an eye out. I promise. You, however, will go with Hud, sleep, eat, shower, and come back tomorrow. If you don't go with Hud, I'm calling your dad."

The sound of a boat approaching makes my eyes fill with tears. "How can you ask me to leave him, Theo?"

"Because I love you, and I can see you breaking right in front of my eyes. You've been taking care of everyone for over a week. Take care of yourself, now."

Heavy footsteps plod up the stairs, and Hud's worried face comes into view. He looks as bad as I feel.

"T, Ellie. Any change?"

I shake my head, biting back tears.

Hudson's long sigh is sad, tired. "Come on then. Let's leave him to it for a bit, I'll bring you back tomorrow to check on him." He reaches his hand down for mine, waiting for me to make the decision.

Pressing the heels of my hands to my tired eyes, I quickly try to think about how I can convince them to let me stay here. Tightness spreads through my chest as I'm torn between my terrible choices.

Leave Greyson now, maybe for six, eight or so hours, or have Theo call Dad who might take me down to the city if he sees the state I'm in. Or convince the boys to let me stay, that I'm fine. Am I fine? I can't tell.

"Elle, I mean it. I'm calling Linc, or worse, your mom if you don't go with Hud right now." Theo's voice is gentle but firm. I know he won't be convinced. The best I can hope for is that Hudson will bring me back as early as possible tomorrow.

I put my hand in Hudson's which is still reaching for me, and he pulls me to my feet, wrapping an arm around me for a quick squeeze.

As soon as we leave Theo's, it feels like an anchor settles on my chest. I struggle to breathe normally, holding back the tears I've been trying to contain for days. As the minutes tick by, the crushing weight of emotion chokes me.

I'm frozen in place when Hudson pulls up to his dock, my breath clogging in my lungs, my vision blurry. He ties off, then I feel the boat rocking as he jumps back in, crouching in front of me.