First There Was You

Chapter 49: Elle

August 9

Mainland, Lake Joseph, Muskoka

Standing in the kitchen looking out over the screened-in porch, I watch my friends from a distance as they lounge quietly with Liam.

I wish we could stay like this, forever.

After Greyson moved over to Theo's, he'd still come back, sneaking into my cabin, curling me into him, kissing me until I was a bundle of raw, needy nerves. But still, he continued to pull away after a certain point, and I was nearly ready to scream my frustration to the world.

Yesterday morning, after what felt like only moments later, after my restless, sleepless night, we'd gotten a call first thing from Sam, who had been surprisingly happy to let us know Liam's move to the cottage had gone smoothly.

We'd come straight over. I can tell it's hurting Greyson and Ry, to see him here, knowing what it likely means. But I also haven't seen Liam happier, now that he's free from the hospital, comfortable and happy in the place he loves most.

It's an incredible emotional burden to deal with, and I constantly worry for Greyson, whose emotional control is shaky, at best, even on a good day. But so far, he seems sad but calm.

This morning I watched, and eventually helped where I could, as Paul and Jacqueline transformed their wide, glass-fronted living room overlooking the lake into a sanctuary. The night and day nurses, Sandra and Anne, are still giving us a bit of grief over our planned activities, but generally seem to tolerate our shenanigans well.

Sam will spend the rest of the summer here, and even now, I can see how she's glued to Liam's side nearly every minute, holding his hand, smiling at him, loving him. I watch her hold herself together for him and I've never admired anyone more.

Her strength and grace are something I will hold tightly to me forever. I wrap her serenity around me like a balm, drawing strength from her courage.

Last night, I suggested we include Liam and Sam in my annual bucket list to stay up all night, first watching the sunset then the sunrise this morning, and much to my delight, everyone had jumped on the idea.

So we stayed up on the boathouse roof all night, Sam and Liam curled together on the big bed we'd dragged out from the small boathouse guest cabin there. The rest of us snuggled into sleeping bags on the large sun loungers.

The night nurse, Sandra or Nurse Gloom as Theo's somewhat fondly established, had not been impressed hiking down from the cottage in the dark, but I'll charm her later with some fresh cookies and get her back on our side.

As usual, I'd spent a restless night in Greyson's arms, attuned to every shift of his body inadvertently touching mine in his sleep on the plush, double lounge chair we'd fallen asleep on. So, I'd crept down the main house to get a head start on breakfast.

It hadn't been long before Jacqueline had made her way in, then one by one the rest of the gang as we prepared.

Now, Jacqueline and I are working on breakfast together, which is oddly soothing. We're making pancakes, bacon, eggs, sausages and bagels as requested by the boys. We also have a massive fruit plate that I've just finished preparing.

I settle into the rhythm, watching her as she moves quickly around the kitchen, focused on making homemade bagels. Her eyes wander over to the porch frequently. We work in silence for now, both Jacqueline and Paul have been quieter than usual and I can only offer my understanding in return. Idle chit chat doesn't have a place here right now.

It's been this way since we got here yesterday morning, so I'm a little shocked when she settles her hands on my shoulders, looking down at me smiling, "Elle, sweetie, tell me how you and Greyson met."