Chapter 8: Elle

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June 16 

Caledon, Ontario

Hudson and I sing along to Shania Twain, the whole car ride down to the barn. It makes me laugh, hearing Hudson sing along to 'Man I Feel Like a Woman' with us. Both Mum and I are in stitches laughing.

Today I'll have a lesson on Kuna, prepare him for the horse show tomorrow and then have a family dinner tonight before my brother leaves for camp next week with Logan.\

Mum pulls into the polo club first, dropping Hudson with a reminder she'll be back to get him in an hour, hour and a half, tops.

Ten minutes later, I walk quickly down the aisle of the stable, calling for Kuna and crinkling the bag of carrots I'm carrying. His big grey head pops out of the window of his stall, and he knickers lightly at me.

Leo, not to be outdone, repeats the gesture, the sound, pawing the ground for his carrot. I toss a carrot across the aisle to my mum, and she feeds it to him, rubbing his cheek.

With no time to waste, I tack Kuna up and head down to the big outdoor arena for my lesson, grabbing my helmet on the way.

I've been riding for as long as I can remember, I'd had my first pony, Dumpling, at the age of three. I can't remember when I didn't ride, I think I might have even ridden before I walked.

Competing started later, around eight, I think, sometimes the memory is blurry, it's been such a part of my life. I had this demon pony, spawned from Satan named Kai. He looked like an angel, but he was a holy terror. Mum finally gave up trying to tame the wild beast, sending him to a friend's farm to work as a school pony until he mellowed out a little.

The season I'd ridden Kai, I think I'd fallen off every single day for the entire summer, sometimes more than once in a day. My mum's friend finally pulled her aside saying something along the lines of 'Diana, this kid clearly wants to ride, so how about we get her something that will let her learn new skills, aside from how to gracefully face plant in the dirt.'

And so here I was, with my favorite boy, Kuna. Mum and Dad bought him last year, and I've never been happier.

I manage the warm-up on my own, while Anna, a friend from the barn, finishes the last part of her lesson. She's a couple of years younger than me, but she's already one division ahead of where I was at her age, I love to watch her ride.

As she slows her horse Freddie to a walk to cool him out, she reaches out to give me a long-armed high-five, leaning over from her saddle as she walks by me. I return her grin before pulling into the middle of the ring to talk to my coach Chelsea, or Chels as everyone calls her.

"Feeling good, kiddo?"

"You know it, Chels. Nowhere I'd rather be." It's the truth. When I'm at the barn, I'm fully here. Nothing else matters. It's one of the few times my active mind is at ease.

Chels rests her arm on Kuna's neck as she gives me a list of jumps and exercises to complete, leaving it up to me to select the order I do them. With a pat on his rump, she sends us off.

Kuna and I fly around the ring, jumping, turning, bending. There is nowhere I feel more confident than in the saddle, and on Kuna.

Forty minutes later, I slow down to walk Kuna out, sliding him a mint from my pocket, even though Chels hates that I do this. I just don't care, he deserves all the treats.

I wave as she walks back to the barn, and I slide off Kuna, removing his tack before climbing up the fence and leaping across and over onto his bareback. I let him wander aimlessly, chatting idly with him. His ears twitch back and forth, so I know he's listening. He knows all my secrets.

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