Hiraeth | Regulus Black

Chapter Seventy Six

A couple of days after his tense conversation with his mother, Regulus was feeling very much on edge.
Clearly his mother had temporarily taken on board what he'd told her because she had been acting rather distant - and this provided a whole new layer of tension to the household. So Regulus was in dire need of a proper break.
He had paid a rather discrete visit to Esme, by leaving the house unreasonably early in the morning, and they were currently walking down in the valley beside the Avery home.

"Are you alright? You seem distant." Esme asked, linking their arms together as they sheltered under a large oak tree from the first signs of rainfall.
Sighing, he turned his head to look over at the girl for a moment before explaining, "I think I'm just anxious. I have a knack for ruining things that are good for me."

"Like what?"
"Like my friendship with you. That allowed me to be independent and open to creating my own opinions about things, and I threw that away when we first got to Hogwarts. I threw away my relationship with Sirius because I was bitter... What's to stop me from ruining it when we're just getting along again?" Regulus mumbled sheepishly.

Esme looked out at the horizon for a moment before she turned her body to face him fully and she said, "That worry you have, that's what is going to stop you from ruining anything. You care and you're trying your best, so you have nothing to worry about. Besides, we've dealt with things far more dangerous than your brother."

"That's a good point, thanks." Regulus pocketed his hands, "How are you doing, by the way?"
She smiled warmly at him, "I've had a trend of good days for about a week now. I'm slightly concerned I might wake up tomorrow feeling worse than I ever have before, but there's not a lot I can do about that, so I won't fret just yet."

He reached across to place a hand on her arm and comforted, "I'm glad you have such a healthy attitude."
"I'm growing." She replied, "That's thanks to you, really. If it weren't for you I'd probably be struggling to suppress everything right about now."

"Well, you just promise to let me know if you ever feel like you're struggling again."
Esme grimaced slightly, "I don't like to burden you."
He lifted her hand to press a quick kiss to her knuckles before stating, "Esme, I love to be with you when you're happy and carefree, but I'll also be sitting beside you every time you feel down. It's not a burden, it's a pleasure."

"You're so mushy." She nudged him with her shoulder.
Though Esme was never particularly keen at addressing emotional and uncomfortable topics, it was always pleasing to know that they were both working through their own trauma and even if they couldn't understand what the other was going through, they continue to stick by each other no matter what.

"I really haven't changed that much, have I?" Regulus laughed lightly and looked up at the grey sky above them through the branches.
She beamed at this, "That's okay; I don't desperately want you too. But also, if you want to, that's okay too."

He raised at eyebrow upon hearing this, "Who are you and what have you done with the real Esmerelda?"

Esme rolled her eyes and stepped back slightly, "Oh sure, you know I'm just trying to be nice."
Regulus smiled again, "That's what's so peculiar."

"Fine." She shrugged it off, "I won't bother trying to be nice again. Shall we get food?"
"Food?" He faltered slightly, trying to keep up with the girl's quick pace, "Where from?"
Esme pointed towards the top of the hill on the right side of the valley, "There's a small muggle village just over there."

"Muggles?" Regulus faltered again, "As in non-magic people?"
"Why? Does muggle have another definition?"
"Well... No."
"Then yes, non-magic people."

"Right..." He narrowed his eyes and furrowed his eyebrows into a frown - not entirely comfortable with that prospect.
"Oh come on." Esme tugged the hood of her coat over her head and linked her arm around one of his again as she started to gently tug him towards the hill, "I've been over there plenty of times; it's fine. Weird, but fine."