Hiraeth | Regulus Black

Chapter Sixty Three

Esmerelda Avery was quite your typical lone wolf. The past couple of years had truly been a turning point for her - most significantly marked by her friendships growing with Piper, Levi and Regulus. Now she spent much of her time surrounded by people, them being either her friends or the Slytherin Death Eaters. This constant company meant Esme had difficulty finding moments for herself to quietly think or reflect as she so enjoyed.

In her first few years at Hogwarts, whilst struggling with the new isolation looming over her, Esme spent much time by herself with only her thoughts to occupy her time. Of course Dirk was around some of the time, always with a kind word, though he was mostly found with the popular group of Ravenclaws and Gryffindors.
This had really allowed Esme's independence to blossom. She had become even more solitary than she had been before and this was where she was comfortable. Esme's confidence was deeply rooted in how she only had herself to look out for and everything she got she had earned.

Summer had been passing by at a shockingly slow rate. Everyone was preoccupied with their own business - Piper was moving across the country with her father so they were closer to London for work, Dirk was undergoing work experience at the Ministry, Levi was on holiday, and Regulus was travelling abroad with his parents. Though she would never bring it up to the boy, Esme suspected Regulus' parents were taking him on such an extensive trip in a bid to separate the two teenagers. He pretended to act oblivious to it, but it would be clear to anyone with functioning eyes that Walburga and Orion were not a fan of Esme and they thought their son could do better. It would only be a few years before their parents started pressuring them to settle down with someone and Walburga was very keen on Regulus finding someone else - perhaps anyone else.

Back to the matter at hand, Esme was now spending more time alone than she had in a while. Even the house was empty as Ignatius had finished his time at Hogwarts and was now working as nearly a full-time Death Eater alongside their father Lucas.
This provided some time for Esme to reflect on how much things had really changed. Honestly, she'd started thinking about it when she realised how uncomfortable she was with being apart from Regulus for the summer. The girl who had once been so independent now so heavily relied on her boyfriend and her friends and this terrified her.

Esme hadn't noticed it before. She'd been distracted and preoccupied with concerns about the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters, she hadn't been able to realise how perhaps she had lost some of her independence and self-preservation.
Without even being aware of it, Esme had become deeply dependent on those around her - particularly Regulus. She didn't want to be clingy and she absolutely didn't want to rely on anyone else.

Perhaps some alone time over the summer would offer Esme the opportunity she'd been looking for - the chance to be a bit more self reliant and far less clingy.
Esme would be much more comfortable if she could just undo all of the development she'd been through over the past couple years.

"Don't look at me like that." Esme narrowed her eyes, peering across the room to Egeria, who was sprawled out on her back on the sofa where the sun was peeking in through the window.

The black cat watched the girl for a while, despite being upside down, before rolling over onto her front and sitting up to stare at Esme.
With a huff, Esme pulled her gaze away from the scrutiny of her pet and looked down at the letter that lay in her lap.
As promised, Regulus had been writing very regularly to her. Although as time passed his letters were getting somewhat shorter (the most recent one being only a couple sentences long) as he was clearly struggling to find spare time and had been scrawled before hurrying off someplace else. Yet, much to Esme's amusement, he had found time to send her some rather questionable drawings.
The most recent being a drawing of himself.

Esme lifted the sheet of parchment to look closer at it. Regulus appeared in a sort of half-stickman styled drawing, but his face was very chiselled, to almost the extent that he looked like a greek statue. Clearly the face had been the centre of his focus and the body was added as an afterthought as the figure on the parchment was practically a bobble head. What made Esme laugh, however, was the cartoonish addition of very large bicep muscles on top of the twig-arms as the small drawing of Regulus smirked and flexed.