Hiraeth | Regulus Black

Chapter Thirty Six

The last two weeks of term had flown by much too fast for Esmerelda Avery's liking. Somehow, despite all of the distractions, she had pulled off amazing OWL results. Just pipped to the post of highest marks by Dirk Cresswell, and Regulus Black had come in not far behind Esme with his perfect Defence Against the Dark Arts marks.

Although the exam results were far from Esme's mind as she paced back and forth up and down the carriage of the Hogwarts Express. Up and down, up and down, back and forth, up and down. Anxiousness was eating away at her heart, and she was probably driving the students sat within the compartments mad.

"Esme."

Snapping out of her thoughts, Esme turned to see Regulus had just entered the train carriage from the door at the end. He still wore his robes, having just attended a final Prefect meeting at the front of the train.

"I think I'm going crazy." She complained, walking down towards him.
Offering a smile and an airy laugh, he replied, "Weren't you crazy already?"

This earnt a roll of the eyes from Esme, something that Regulus was used to receiving by now.

After a moment's silence, he sighed and asked, "Are you panicking about next week?"
It was precisely six days until everyone was due to convene on the Avery household to welcome the Dark Lord and accept the initiation of new Death Eaters. Neither of them could forget. Six days. Less than two hundred hours.

Esme looked up at him through her hooded eyelashes. That was the only signal Regulus needed to take one of her hands in his and entwine their fingers as a subtle sign of support.

"We just... We need to see this as something to get through." He whispered, "You don't even need to do anything. Allow it to happen around you and... When it's over, we'll deal with it. We'll figure it out."
She sighed, "You're right. I know you are, I just need to completely convince myself that you are. It's-"

Esme clamped her jaw shut immediately as one of the compartment doors silently slid open and a vaguely familiar figure stepped out into the corridor.
Her eyes widened and her grip on Regulus' hand tightened. This caused the boy to turn to see what had happened behind him. Only, he wished he had remained blissfully oblivious.

Quietly, Sirius Black closed the door behind them and stepped forward, out of eye-line of the people in the compartment as he moved into the corridor with them.

Regulus Black looked eerily like his older brother. Although the younger sibling was a fair bit taller, and somewhat more angular. Sirius ran a hand through his longer hair, roughly scraping it out of his eyes - heavily contrasting Regulus' neater appearance and approach to style.

They all stared at each other for a while, all trying to figure out what exactly was going on.

"Avery." Sirius finally spoke up, "Long time no see."
Esme scoffed, "That's one way of putting it."

Regulus remained frozen. He felt as though he was looking at a ghost. Since last summer, he hasn't spoken to his brother - the summer Sirius left home. Regulus didn't know where Sirius went, and was surprised to see him at Hogwarts in September. Since then, though, the brothers had rarely come into contact with each other. Truthfully, they'd been avoiding each other so they didn't have to think about what had happened. It was easier that way.

"Do you... Maybe... Want to leave?" Sirius asked rather pointedly to Esme. She glanced across at Regulus and slowly let go of his hand.
But Regulus wasn't having it. "No. She doesn't." He stated bluntly.

"I can go." She offered quietly, secretly hoping that Regulus didn't want her there. Normally, Esme would be all for staying to watch something dramatic unfold, but this felt far too sinister to be entertaining. The tension felt almost dangerous, like a single spark could burn everything down.

Sirius took a deep breath before speaking up, "Reggie, I wanted to-"

"No." Regulus shook his head once, "You don't get what you want from me. You gave that right up when I asked-begged you to stay and you left anyway."
Esme was surprised, but even more shocked when Sirius replied: "We both know staying in that house any longer would have destroyed me. It was inhumane the way they treated me... Like an animal. For what? For my beliefs? My beliefs that don't affect them in any way, shape or form."

"I don't know what you want, Sirius... Nor do I care." Regulus replied harshly, "You're such a victim, you had to escape the torture... But you left me behind. You knew full well I felt the same way as you, but I never spoke up because I saw the way you were treated. And-and don't you dare act like our parents didn't love you. You should have seen our mother the day you left. You didn't just leave me behind in a family that doesn't care to really know who I am, you left me behind to pick up the prices of our broken parents. Don't you dare talk to me."

Regulus felt like he was going to throw up. He had never really expressed his thoughts like that. So suddenly, so out of the blue. It was like a weight off his shoulders.
Without thinking, or looking, he reached out with one hand behind himself and was immediately met by Esme tightly gripping onto his arm.

Taking one long look at his brother, Regulus decided he didn't want to argue anymore. There were more important things at hand and his self-righteous brother was merely a distraction. So he abruptly turned on his heels and lead Esme down the carriage, leaving Sirius to grasp onto the harsh words that still hung in the air.

They found a compartment, about three carriages down the train - however Regulus did have to use his persuasive Prefect skills to kick out a couple of second year Slytherin students so he and Esme could be alone.
She didn't even know where to begin as they sat down opposite each other. Regulus had his gaze firmly fixed on the horizon outside the window, showing no sign of making an attempt to address what had just happened.

"Regulus..." Esme tentatively began, "Are you alri-Do you want to... Is everythi-Can I do something?"

Finally, he looked across at her with a sad smile, "Do you have that... That muggle book with you? The story one?"

A grin emerged across Esme's lips as she pulled out a small, tattered book from her pocket. Since Christmas, she had remained true to her word and had been sharing some of her muggle knowledge with Regulus. One of the best moments of her life was the day she tried to explain The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to him. Subsequently, he had found it the most hilarious thing imaginable and they had began slowly working their way through the book series.

She flashed the cover of The Silver Chair to the boy with a smile, and stretched her legs out onto the bench opposite so she could slump down into a comfortable position to read. Regulus lay across the entire bench opposite Esme, his head resting on her legs as she began to read from the book.

Although he wasn't as deeply focused on the story as he usually was. Regulus was still perturbed from the confrontation with his brother. It was the first time he felt truly rattled to his core.
Not only was he battling the trauma of about to unwillingly become a Death Eater, but he really didn't need Sirius joining the mix.

The two brothers had got on like a house on fire during their youth, constantly causing chaos for their parents. Sirius and Regulus used to be inseparable, but now it would take a miracle to get them together in the same room.
Although, lying there, Regulus did begin to wonder why his brother had a suddenly approached him.
Was there a reason?

Regulus wasn't entirely certain he wanted to find out. At least not now anyway.