How To Deal With A Tsundere Gong

Chapter 3 - Blind

The journey took two hours, his hometown not being the final stop. Since he didn’t have a home to return to anyways, it didn’t matter where he ended up.

Humans don’t just emerge from a crack in the stone. Who in the world doesn’t have a biological father and mother? However, having a father and mother doesn’t necessarily mean you have a home. From childhood until now, he was just like a grass on the wall which was easily swayed by the wind. But in all honesty, he had never wanted to be that way. It was the violent hurricanes blowing from both sides that wanted to uproot him and blow him to a different home.

Whenever somebody asked him where he came from, he would feign his current situation and say, “Home? What home? There’s no place where I don’t feel at home.”

When he answered in this manner, most people thought he was talking nonsense and he would also quickly skip over the matter. Over time he had become accustomed to making these kinds of jokes.

Xu Bai Chuan believes his skin is not naturally thick, it’s just that many calluses appeared after having his face struck time and time again. There is nowhere for him to release his inner feelings of unfairness, so he could only hold onto it firmly despite the pain.

He wasn’t originally like this.

The first time someone asked him this question was when he first attended Tang Jin’s birthday party which was held in a private room of a restaurant. He was feeling frustration in his heart whilst feigning ignorance. Afterwards he made an excuse to go to the restroom and found an air vent to lean on. He was listening to music while scolding himself in his heart: ‘Fine. Fine. Fine. You’re bitter, you’re the most bitter in the world. Your father doesn’t love your mother and doesn’t show you any signs of appreciation, alright? Affected fool! Which house doesn’t have hurtful matters? Who is obligated to listen to your sobfest? Huh? Are you playing a wretched and miserable main lead? You act as if the world revolves around you!’

His shoulders were trembling along with the music. Suddenly a person appeared. Tang Jin irritably clicked his tongue and leaned next to him. “What’s there to cry about?”

Well, he still remembered the pitch and tone of the ‘thump’ in his heart at that time. While he leaned his head against Tang Jin’s shoulder to avoid the person from finding out that he wasn’t crying at all, he was thinking in his heart: ‘This person truly does have me in his heart.’ From that day onwards, he began making a vain attempt to push aside the existence of Song Yi Yu and invited the humiliation of others.

Now that he thinks about it, any regular person that knew of his circumstances at home would more or less feel some sort of pity. The funny thing is that he had mistaken these expressions of pity from Tang Jin as love, and clearly became a clown over the years.

He’s not afraid of his eyes becoming blind, the actual frightening thing is when one’s heart becomes blind. You’re originally not blind, but how frightening it is to insist on pretending to be blind!

Fine, Xu Bai Chuan mocked himself: ‘From today onwards, I will restore my sight.’

The destination of the trip was a southern city. He had been here on a business trip with Tang Jin before and had attempted to convince him to go on a stroll with him several times. But the him who was here had always placed Tang Jin’s wishes first. When Tang Jin frowned, Xu Bai Chuan quickly shut up before his anger would flare.

Since he wanted to leave, then he had to completely leave by not remaining in the previous city. The situation resembled a child who had a disagreement with their parents and used their own departure as blackmail to get a compromise.

However that didn’t entirely match his current situation. Firstly, Tang Jin would not attempt to find him. On the contrary he’d be beating a gong, playing drums and setting off firecrackers. Afterward he would warmly welcome the arrival of Song Yi Yu. Secondly, he hoped that the decision he made to stake everything for the first time in his life wouldn’t be for the low reason of playing cat and mouse.