Insecure 🦋

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by Chl0eS00t

by Chl0eS00t

Summary: Nick is feeling insecure and his brothers start to notice

Thank you to @imterribleatnaming for the request!

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Nicks POV

I haven't been feeling myself these past few days I have seen a few comments commenting about my weight and the way I look and ALOT saying my brothers would be better off without me, I know I shouldn't be taking things like this to heart since they are just some dumb internet trolls but I just couldn't help feeling bad about myself I used to be so confident but it seems as if all of my confidence had disappeared as soon as the comments started appearing and noe i hate myself and everything about the way i look.

Chris's POV

Me Matt and Nick were currently watching the maze runner on the couch as matt INSISTED on watching it for the fourth time this week. Me and matt have been so worried about him lately that we couldn't help but notice the way he has been acting i don't know what has gotten into him he has been distant and doesn't even want to go on our drives out anymore. he just seems so out of it all of the time we have tried asking him if anything is bothering him but he either walks away or fully ignores us. Me and matt have bought reservations o this new restaurant that has just opened for tomorrow I mean food makes everyone happy right?! I get snapped out of my thoughts by nick getting up and walking to his room "Nick don't you want to finish the movie?! there's only like half an hour left anyways.." I say confused matt sends me a puzzled look "yeah Nick and we aren't even at the best part yet!" he replies with a smile nick just continues his walk to his roo blanking us all. "what the fuck?." I whisper surprised as he never acts like that matt gives me a worried look. Matt gets up and turns off the movie "I guess we should sleep then.." he gives me a half smile I nod and start to make my way into my room not before saying goodnight to matt and nick though.

TIME SKIP NIGHTTIME

I change into a hoodie and sweatpants as I get into bed I couldn't even be bothered brushing my teeth and washing my face today I just feel so mentally exhausted, I try to stay off of my phone for the night but I end up checking it anyways, it has become like a routinely thing now I wake up, go on my phone, check tik tok, eat dinner, sit on the couch for a bit, and then sleep. as I was scrolling on tik tok I come across this video of a girl saying horrible and disgusting things about me I start to wonder maybe I am actually loud and annoying? I sigh and decide I should probably get to bed since it is nearly 3 am (as I'm writing this it's 4 am) I cling to my favourite teddy bear as I slowly drift off to sleep hoping tomorrow will be better.

TIME SKIP MORNING

Matt's POV

I awake to the sound of my alarm blaring in my ear I groan "what a horrible way to wake up" I whisper to myself. the memories of last night come flying back to me as well as "SH*T THE RESERVATIONS" I forgot we have reservations at 12 and it's nearly 11! I pull myself out of bed and scurry into Chris's room to wake him up I shake him violently "CHRIS WAKE UP WE NEED TO TELL NICK ABOUT THE SUPRISEWE HAVE JUST OVER AN HOUR TILL WE ARE EXPECTED TO BE THERE" I shout trying to be as quiet as possible as to not wake nick up and ruin the surprise. I see him jolt up "jesus matt you scared the crap out of me!" "Sorry... I just don't want to miss the reservations." I reply genuinely feeling bad "it's alright let's go wake him up!" Chris smiles. we both hurry into his room and lay next to him "wake up Nicky" I whisper tapping him lightly hoping to get his attention. he groans and rolls over "one more hour" he mumbles sleepily. "no nick you need to get up now we have a surprise for you in an hour and we are going to be late!" I say slightly frustrated "I don't care let me sleep," "he is right nick.. we spent so much money getting this surprise ready it would be a waste not to go...!" Chris replies, I see him frown as he gets no answer from nick. "nick that's it come on we don't have to go but at least come into the living room it's weird without you there!" I say lightly yanking on his hand, surprisingly he gets up slowly and walks into the living room with us following behind. he sits down on the couch he looks miserable I'm getting really worried about him.. "right what's wrong nick?" I say worryingly as I take a seat next to him Chris sitting on the other side. "yeah you've been acting strange and I'm so worried about you nick you have hardly been eating and you keep waking up later than normal we want to know what's going on with you we are your brothers we care.." Chris replies worriedly I feel my stomach turning nervously as I await an answer.

Nick's POV

I wake up to matt lightly tapping me on the shoulder and whispering for me to get up. he says he has a surprise but I honestly don't feel like doing anything today apart from sleeping I roll over and mumble sleepily "one more hour matt.." I can hear him getting slightly frustrated as he explains how we will be late if I don't get up now. I feel so bad because it genuinely sounds like they put so much time into this 'surprise' "I don't care let me sleep" I say not meaning to sound rude I just wasn't feeling the best as normal. Matt continues "he is right nick.. we spent so much money getting this surprise ready it would be a waste not to go...!" Chris replies I can basically hear him frowning now I feel SO bad I can't bring myself to reply I get pulled out of my thoughts by matt "nick that's it come on we don't have to go but at least come into the living room it's weird without you there!" he says yanking my hand. I surrender and slowly get up of my bed and walk down the stairs I suddenly get a huge wave of guilt as I flop on the couch, "right what's wrong nick?" matt says "yeah you've been acting so strange and I'm so worried about you nick you have hardly been eating and you keep waking up later than normal I want to know what's going on with you we are your brothers we need to know." I feel tears start to well up in my eyes and my breathing starts to uneven. "nick what's wrong buddy" Chris asks I can hardly hear him as everything is muffled I start hyperventilating not knowing what to do it feels like everything I have been bottling up is about to come out I feel tears fall from my eyes as Chris places a comforting hand on my back desperately trying to soothe me as matt intertwines our fingers trying to get me to focus on him. "I'm s-s-sorry" I feel my voice crack and shake as I break down into sobs placing my head in my hands it felt like my whole world was crashing down and I couldn't stop it. "nick sh..sh.. calm down buddy your okay focus on my breathing your okay sweetheart" matt soothes as I feel Chris brushing my hair off my forehead. And then I explain everything that people have been saying to me in between sobs and shaky breaths, I am speaking so fast I barely have time to breathe. "oh sweetie" Chris says voice full of sympathy as he pulled me into a hug "I cling onto him as if I let go he would disappear and I let it all out. I feel matt rest his head on my back as he whispers that everything will be okay and that so many people care. as my breathing starts to even out Chris gently pulls away and whispers "your boiling sweets ill go get you a t-shirt and water and matt will stay with you for a second" I nod gently as I feel matt wiping my tears gently with his sleeve I rest my head on his shoulder patiently waiting for Chris to come back. less than a minute later Chris walks in holding a t-shirt and a bottle of water he hands the t-shirt to me and I quickly put it on feeling exhausted, he then gives me the water as I drink a little feeling my hands still shake as im still abit shook up, I give the bottle back to Chris as he holds it "let's go upstairs and have a sleepover yeah?" Chris smiles rubbing my back gently, I nod too tired to even speak. Matt holds my hand as we walk up the stairs Chris in front. we decided on Chris's room since he had LED lights which always calmed me down, Chris places the water bottle on the dresser incase I got thirsty in the middle of the night. I plonk down on the bed the other two laying down next to me as we all huddle up together, soon later I fall asleep with my head resting on Chris's chest listening to his steady heartbeat and matt drawing shapes on my back and from that day forward I knew that along as I had my brothers there everything was going to be okay.

AUTHORS NOTE

I haven't proofread this so if you see any errors or grammar mistakes feel free to correct me! this one was slightly long so I'm sorry I hope you enjoyed my first chapter I think it's alright I was going to do a matt or Chris pov for the last paragraph but I'm exhausted its 6 am and I haven't slept yet and I really wanted to get a chapter out as soon as possible! :D also if the last bit sounds rushed its probably because of how tired I am so again I'm so sorry! love you all and remember your loved and cared about

goodnight <3

words:1792 (damn)