04 | the lips and the heart are two different things

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In the course of my life, I had experienced some revolting misfortunes—most of which are self-inflicted

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In the course of my life, I had experienced some revolting misfortunes—most of which are self-inflicted. How could that be? One might ask. Frankly, I have absolutely no idea. One of my more notorious misfortunes was thinking that dropping five years of med school for a fruitful musical career would be a good idea. In light of a successful graduation, I thought my skills are best used for music. It turned out music is more than a camera and the internet. Too ashamed to see other colleagues who were with me in university, I didn't return to the medical scene and instead started a business that surprisingly worked out better. With all that being said, I don't think that will stop the misfortune I feel right at this moment.

How so? One might wonder. Frankly, I have yet to find out.

"Daniel..." Mallory began, smiling flirtatiously at him who was busy fixing his tie. "I didn't expect to see a familiar face tonight but look, this is Jeanette, a friend."

I could've sworn my jaw was on the floor but perhaps my teeth digging into my lip is much more evident. He looked towards me and I looked for something. Familiarity. Some microexpression that will tell me that he remembered.

"Green tea, and here's some sugar."

"Thank you, you really didn't have to."

"I insisted and you were cold, this is the least that could help."

Such a small fraction of time spent, but I was hoping that it left a mark on him. It was merely some wishful thinking as he only looked at me and smiled.

There was indeed a smile, the same charming one. But his eyes were a void. Plain nothingness and I believe it was all because he didn't know me. I swallowed and smiled, realizing that to him I was probably nothing more than an unfortunate event. As I am with anyone else really.

I left them to their own devices and waited with a glass of wine for my date to come back. I'd glance towards the man with the charming smile now and then but not even a look from him is all I get. Disappointed with no rhyme or reason, I left it at that and figured that my energy is better used for the night ahead with someone who knows me rather than fidgeting about the man I spoke to once and clearly had forgotten about me.

Our food arrived, smelling delectable. And soon after, Leo came around too, looking in higher spirits than he already was.

We got on, eating and talking. Our night quickly turned from a tense filled conversation to a lighthearted one that truly felt years ahead of our situation just moments ago. It felt good to return to talking about childhood pets and secondary school dropouts rather than drunken mishaps.

Leo and I have known each other long enough to talk about nostalgic things. But when we first began all we talked about was food and medicine—as in medical school. Back then he still worked as a manager at a restaurant. That's how we met actually. It was Lexi's birthday and she was complaining about the bad batch of food we received. Granted, it was a famous Japanese restaurant so I get that she was mad. But as I usually am when those incidents happen, I only watched curiously as he tried to calm the situation down. Him and his teal button shirt he definitely did not look good in. We kept glancing at each other and before I left, I apologized to him. Bold of him to ask for my number but of course, being off of a relationship for three months, I decided why not test the waters again.

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