Blueberry Scones (MxM)

Chapter 14 - Warm

Warm. So very warm. Like a gentle fire warming up my entire body. Had I always felt this cold before? I never realized how empty I'd always felt.

Words, gentle words murmured right by my ear. They sounded so soft, so caring.

"I'll make it up to you, I swear."

Make up what? The warmth left me and I felt myself reach out to hold onto it. Please don't go. I need it. I need-

My eyes slowly opened, becoming aware of the puffiness surrounding them and the way my arm was stretched out, my hand clasped around someone's wrist. I tried to search the darkness for the owner of the wrist, but I could barely make out their form in the dark. My brain felt foggy and blurred like I wasn't quite in reality just yet. Maybe I wasn't and this was all a dream.

The wrist tried to pull away but I tightened my hold, understanding at least one thing: I wanted to keep the warmth as close to me as possible. It was comforting, and I needed comfort. I felt like my world had been turned upside down, which wasn't that far from the truth.

"Wren."

Wren? My name? That voice sounds so familiar, doesn't it? The fog continued to disrupt my mind, but the voice lingered on. Before I realized what was going on, tears were falling from my already-puffy eyes as I sat up on my knees, slowly coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't dreaming. This wasn't a dream, it was reality. Cold, dark, lonely reality.

"Wren?"

That voice again. I knew that voice, how could I not? He'd already done so much for me and we barely knew each other. "Joshua," his name left my lips in a scratchy whisper.

"Come here."

I didn't have to be told twice as I scooted closer, letting my head fall onto his chest, my hand still gripped around his wrist. An arm wrapped around me, pulling me close into his body. So very warm. More tears fell down my face, soaking his shirt. The sobs came next, wrenching from my chest as my heart continued to throb painfully in my chest. The entire day's events had finally caught up to me. Every single painful moment, every emotional confrontation. It was spilling from my heart, leaving me in broken cries of pain and raw emotion I couldn't contain nor understand.

"It's okay, I'm right here," he whispered, rubbing my back.

"Please don't go," I begged quietly, and he responded by pulling me even closer if that was even possible.

"Never."

Assured by his answer, I continued to cry. Everything had just piled up and the dam finally broke. I finally broke.

I don't know how long it was, but eventually, my tears dried up, and my sobs turned to sniffles again. Still, Joshua continued to hold me close. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth that seemed to radiate from his body.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Joshua asked me softly.

"I..." I paused, trying to figure out what to say. Did I even want to tell him? I mean, we'd already shared that emotional moment in the car, so what was one more, right? "Erin kissed me."

Joshua stayed quiet so I could finish my story. I silently thanked him for that. I wasn't sure if I could continue if he'd said anything to that. I was still in shock over it. The most confusing part was that I didn't feel happy or relieved that Erin kissed me. When it happened, I'd felt so dirty and empty. I didn't understand where the sudden feeling came from, and it honestly scared me. But I did understand what it meant.

"He kissed me, but I didn't like it. What you said in the car... it made me realize I couldn't continue. I couldn't keep lying to myself by saying that Erin was enough. He's not enough."