Accepted With Flaws

-Silent prayers-

Those who have believed and whose hearts are assured by the remembrance of Allah . Unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured."
(Surah Ar-Ra'd 13:28)
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Luth's POV

I sat on my rocker, wearing my glasses, and took hold of my favorite black tea while still holding "The Kite Runner" by Khalid Hussaini. As I read, my mind kept wandering back to the way Omaiza had left the cab alone and absentmindedly. It was as if she had forgotten where she was and what she was doing. I called out to her a few times, but there was no response, so I started searching for her.

Eventually, I found her in a clean lawn behind the library, sitting on her knees with hands folded and raised to the sky. I approached her slowly, wanting to get a better view of what she was doing.

Her eyes were swollen, her lips trembling, and her hands weak. She was murmuring something, and I couldn't help but move closer, intrigued.

"Ya Rabb, the master of the world, the all-hearing, the all-knowing. I know that this is my test, and I have been given this because I'm one of those you love. Please help me, please strengthen my iman and don't let it collapse. I know this will pass, I know you will always be with me, but everything is eating me slowly, and I fear, I really fear that..." She couldn't complete her sentence as she covered her face with her hands and broke into tears.

In that moment, I witnessed the true essence of prayer. It shook me to my core, and my eyes welled up with tears. I could relate to her struggles, but I wished I had the same unwavering faith in Allah that she displayed.

"Abbu says, whoever asks Allah by raising their hands, Allah never lets them go empty-handed. Please, ya rabbi, save me from the Satan that is slowly eating my iman. Save me from myself, Ya Rabb. I fear that someday I will take a step that will leave me regretting my entire life. Please help me," she pleaded, her voice filled with emotion.

It seemed like she sensed my presence, and I tried to apologize for eavesdropping, but she assured me that it was okay and that she should have informed me before leaving.

"Yeah, I mean, it's okay. Let's leave then," I said, getting up from the ground.

"Hmm," was all I heard from Omaiza as she got up as well.

Suddenly, my phone rang, interrupting the moment. "Hello, there," a voice spoke from the other end.

"Who's this?" I asked.

"Come on, Luth. How couldn't you guess my voice?" the person teased.

I was taken aback. It couldn't be...

"Bhai, here is your black tea. Drink it before it turns cold... again. Okay, so if you're not busy, baba wants you downstairs."

I took the tea and gestured an acknowledgment to Fatimah. As I sipped the tea, a mixture of emotions and thoughts flooded my mind.