Xalia Squalor; because sometimes being in is not enough

Oh god, it sings

C is for "cute,"!

A is for "adorable,"!

R is for "ravishing,"!

M is for "gorgeous,"!

E is for "extra gorgeous,"!

L is for "lovable,"!

I is for "I'm the best,"!

T is for "talented,"!

and A is for "a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian"!

Now let's begin my whole wonderful song all over again!

...CAKESNIFFERS!

A screeching noise erupts almost as soon as Carmelita is done singing, and she runs into Mum's arms screaming. I smile at Violet, who nods as she runs passed us with Klaus and Sunny. I follow them into the Queeqeg, and nod at Fiona. Fiona says, "Baudelaires, I assume you've met Xalia?"
"We're friends," Violet says, "But you need to help. We left the sugar bowl with someone we trust on the surface, but Sunny got infected with the fungus."
I walk with them to the kitchen, and listen as Klaus says, "There is no cure yet."
Sunny keeps coughing, and I watch as Fiona and Violet try fixing the morse code machine. They've left the book, which I pick up and flick through. A little note is in the margin, and I read, "Is dilution simple? But of course. Just one small dose of root of horse."
Klaus turns to me, and says, "Dilution means antidote?"
"But horses don't have roots," Fiona points out. We all think for a second, before Violet gasps, "Plants do! Plants are often used to make antidotes."
"The book said scientists are working on a cure near lousy lane," I think out loud, "There's an awful smell near there, like black pepper."
"Not pepper," Violet shakes her head, "Horse radish."
We turn to the fridge, and stare in it. There's a little cake that says Happy birthday Violet. And there's another name. Xalia. I whisper, "Happy birthday Violet."
"Happy birthday Xalia," Violet mumbles, "I forgot it was my birthday."
Sunny babbles something, and I realise she made the cake. She knew it was my birthday. I turn to the cupboards, slamming through them. Klaus suddenly says, "Sunny says wasabi."
I throw tea towels to everyone, which we wrap round our faces. Slowly, Violet takes the helmet off of Sunny's head, and Klaus feeds her a spoonful of wasabi. I take my tea towel off, and stare at the morse code machine which is sending us a message.

Violet walks over to me, and hugs me tight. I say, "Sunny is okay now. But, I need to ask you something."
"Anything."
"What is VFD?"
Violet sighs, "VFD is a secret organisation. There was a schism, which split it in two sides, and so far, we think Olaf was on the wrong side. Our plan is to go to the last safe place for a meeting 2there with other members of the organisation."
I nod, and follow the others to Fiona. Violet hands her the helmet of the fungus, and I ask, "Are you alright?"
"Aye," Fiona nods, "Thursday for the Hotel Denoument. The last safe place."
I say, "It's a seaside hotel, isn't it?"
Violet nods, and Fiona demands, "We aren't going. I'm not hesitating, I'm deciding."
"Whatever this is about, you can tell us," Violet says. I gasp as Hookie storms into the room, hugging Fiona. My jaw drops and I pick Sunny up from the chair. Slowly, I walk away from the Baudelaires, and mouth, "Got to go."
Klaus nods weakly, and I clamber into the Carmelita. How is Hookie friends with Fiona? Why was Klaus okay with me going? I shouldn't have left them alone, and I should have stayed with Hookie. What side is her on?

Olaf storms up to me, and asks, "Where have you been?"
"Pottering around," I shrug, "Why does it matter?"
"Because I want to know where my daughter goes," Olaf says. I tilt my head as he walks passed me, down to the Queeqeg. I desperately follow him, with Carmelita trailing behind me with Mum. I blink, uncomfortably again, and groan as Carmelita squeals, "I found Cakesniffers!"
Olaf stares at Hookie as Carmelita drags the Baudelaires out, before storming over to Hookie and strangling him. Fiona says, "There is fungus in here for you. Please let my brother go!"
Mum looks at the helmet, holding it close to her. Olaf smirks, "When you orphans are back in the brig, I'm going to throw this in there with you and watch you suffer. Unless."
"Unless?" I ask. Olaf says, "You could join your brother on my crew, triangle eyes."
Fiona looks at me, and says, "I'll do it."
Olaf drags me back to the Carmelita, and I ask, "Why do you want Triangle eyes on your crew?"
"The more the merrier," Olaf smirks. He grabs Hooky, and shoves him to the wall, saying, "You were going to desert me. I think strangling your sister might teach you a lesson."
"Don't hurt Fiona," Hook... Fernald says, "And I'll give you the location of the last safe place."
"The what?"
"Where all VFD is gathering."
Olaf walks off with the location, smiling widely. I snap, "Why would you do that?"
"Fiona needed me too," Fernald sighs, "You would do it for Carmelita."
I scoff, "I absolutely would not. Quite frankly, I'd pay to see her strangled."

                                                                                ***
Once we reach the surface, I feel like I can finally breath. Sure, we may not know where the Baudelaires, but I know they are safe in the Queeqeg. I want to find them, but I know we can't. They'll be at the last safe place.
"Tee hee, ta ha, to ho tal annihilation," Olaf laughs. Mum says, "We've still not found the sugar bowl, darling."
"With our luck, the sugar bowl should fall out of the sky."
I sigh, "Is the last safe place hotel thingy nice?"
"Nice enough," Olaf shrugs, "It'll be fun!"
Fun? I seriously doubt that, but who am I to judge? Actually, I have the right to be judging right now. I want to go back to the city with Violet, Klaus, and Sunny. I want to find the Quagmires to come live with us. More than anything, I want things to go back to how they were before the Baudelaire's home burned down. Before I was born. Before the schism. It'd be easier, and there would be less fires, figurative, and literally. More importantly, there would be a lack of Very Fancy Deaths.