Mum, Jerome and the Baudelaires are already at the front door when I reach it. Jerome has passed out, and from the looks of it, Mum dragged him up the stairs by his feet. I smile at all of them, and Mum walks passed me, still dragging Jerome. She shoves him onto a sofa, and says, "Let Jerome rest, children."
I nod, and Violet sighs, "We need to tell him something important."
"Tell me, I'm important," Mum smiles, "And you're important to me. I know I might seem like an insanely powerful woman, but I'm also your guardian, try me."
Klaus sighs, "Count Olaf is here. He is disguised as Gunther and the Quagmires are at the bottom of the elevator shaft. He is going to smuggle them out of town in an auction item. We need to call the police."
I smile, looking to mum as she looks between us all. She says, "Let me understand. Gunther is Olaf in disguise? He has hidden your friends, the Quagmires, in a cage at the bottom of my elevator shaft? He's also going to hide them in an item at MY in auction? This is the least in thing I've heard. We really need to help them. This is complicated, your bravery and smarts are surprising. Would you like a parsley soda? They are so good. Aren't they, Xalia May?"
"So good," I agree, taking one out her hands and drinking a bit. The Baudelaires, all look worried, and Klaus splutters, "Tastes like parsley."
Mum scoffs, before telling the orphans to follow her. I do the same, trailing behind. Then, Mum turns to the Baudelaires and shoves them down the elevator. I gasp as Mum laughs, throwing her head back. She looks over to me, and I look at Olaf who has just appeared. Mum yells, "YOU ARE ALIVE, ORPHANS, BUT YOU ARE DEFINITELY NOT OKAY. YOU AND THE QUAGMIRE TWINS WILL BE SMUGGLED OUT OF TOWN TOMORROW, AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT YOU ORPHANS WILL NEVER BE OKAY AGAIN. WHAT... line?"
"What a wonderful," Olaf sighs. Mum nods, before continuing, "yes, yes, yes, WHAT A WONDERFUL AND PROFITABLE DAY. COUNT OLAF, MY FORMER ACTING COACH, WILL FINALLY GET HIS HANDS ON NOT ONE, BUT TWO FORTUNES!"
Olaf and mum laugh, and I sigh. I roll my eyes as she smirks, "I'm an actor. I was acting. I simply had to fool you and my stupid husband that Gunther, Olaf, whatever was an auctioneer."
Olaf smirks, and says, "You're really starting to grow as a thesbian."
"Well, I do like horses," Mum smiles at him. I scoff, "Thesbian? Don't you mean thespian? Unless you're calling my mum a lesbian who likes theatre?"
Olaf sneers at me, and I groan as mum yells, "I WANT TO STEAL FROM YOU. I WANT TO STEAL FROM YOU AS BEATRICE STOLE. FROM. ME!"
We walk into the house, shutting the front door behind us.
The living room is nice and warm, and I sit on an armchair. Olaf snaps, "Okay, Zara-"
"Xalia," Mum and I correct.
"Xalia," Olaf rolls his eyes, "Don't try correcting me when it comes to words. You starting to sound like an orphan."
I scoff, but Olaf snaps, "Like the middle Baudelaire and the little Quaggies. Always using their stupid words. Now... leave your mother and I to go... dance!"
Olaf smirks as I leave, and I walk round miserably. With the Baudelaires gone, the only person I had to talk to is gone. I should grow up and appreciate I've got to entertain myself. Slowly, I make my way to the front door and gasp. A man with hook hands is stood, as security I imagine. I scoff, "You are?"
"Umm, uhh," he stutters.
"Umm? Uhh? Are you stupid and deaf?" I snap, "You are? You're not only in my way, but you're going to scare people as they walk passed. Who ARE you?"
"Fernald," The man, Fernald, sighs, "My name is Fernald. I'm part of Olaf's troupe. Why? Who are you? You're not another orphan, are you?"
"Orphan?" I scoff, "Oh please, I am Xalia May Squalor, Esme Squalor's daughter. You know who Esme Squalor is, right?"
"Esme Gigi Squalor?" Fernald asks.
"Esme Gigi Genevieve Squalor, the cities sixth most important financial advisor. And she's my mother. Now, why are you here, and not... I dunno, what do hench people do on a night like this?"
"We do what we're told," Fernald shrugs, "Right now it's also the morning, so... I would say you should get some sleep. You look really pretty, and eye bags could ruin that."
"You think I'm pretty?" I beam. Fernald shrugs, and I smile, saying, "Fernald, I like you. Olaf said I was starting to sound like an orphan, so I'm bored of him already. That was ephemeral."
Fernald raises his eyebrows, "Ephemeral?"
"Oh, it means short lived, basically," I sigh and look at the elevator shaft. Mum and Olaf suddenly storm through, sprinting down the stairs. I watch them, and ask, "Shouldn't you be with them?"
Fernald nods, following them sprinting. I sigh, and fold my arms over my chest. Another person appears over the stairs, and says, "I think leaving a child under the age of fourteen alone is a really bad idea, so I've promised to come look after you."
"I'm fifteen," I say, looking them up and down. They pause, before turning down the stairs and walking away. This is unfortunate. Wait... isn't Jerome still in the house? I turn and look to the front doors which burst open. Jerome gasps, "Xalia! Darling, we have to run. Your mother has betrayed me I think, and we need to get to the in auction quickly. I like your outfit. Matching with your mother, I presume?"
I nod as we walk, and I sigh, "Jer- father. I think we should stay here and wait till people leave the auction before going. Why don't I go now, and you can run over a bit later?"
"Your mother said there was a car you were supposed to get into?" Jerome looks at me as we reach the bottom of the stairs, "It's fine. You go in the car, I'll go find your mother."
I smile, nodding as he leaves the lobby. Mum sharing our stupid plans.
ČTEŠ
Xalia Squalor; because sometimes being in is not enough
FanfikceXalia Squalor is exactly who she wants to be. She's pretty, she's rich, and she is famous. But there is one small thing. She doesn't have a full tea set. Or at least, her mum doesn't and it's ruining her life. Meeting the Baudelaire orphans is both...
