Society

Chapter 28

I stood frozen still, trying to comprehend what had happened. I don't cry, even when my adoptive family beat me I didn't cry, when I cracked my ribs I didn't cry and even when My psychotic physio attacked me I didn't cry. Why? Why now? What happened?

The thought began to pile up in my mind and I felt the pressure begin to well up behind my eyes, I saw my eyes glistened in the mirror and I screamed. I threw my fists and arms and body at the mirror the glass shattered it scattered on the ground. I looked back at the mirror and relaxed as I could no longer see myself crying, not could I hear it but I could feel it; my eyes stinging, my cheeks being soaked and my throat choking on nothing.

I sank to the floor and lay on the floor, surrounded by glass and stared at the small shards shattering any that reflected my face. I looked at my hands which were drenched in blood, I breathed in and out slowing my ragged breathing to a steady rate. I pulled myself to my feet and washed the blood from my hands then turned on the shower, flattening my hair and cleaning the few cuts remaining scattered across my body.

Once I was out I stood drying my hair then tying it up in a high ponytail, I wore the outfit I did when I first came here, I had gotten too used to this life. I am a killer, I cannot let myself get weak. I felt my frustration ebb away and was replaced by rage, pure rage against the place that has caused me to cry, the emotions which made me cry, something mere physical pain could never achieve. I stood up and threw some punches at the stone walls surrounding my bed, I grabbed a couple of knives and hid them in my boots as well as a few other concealed weapons. I was not about to become a type one and I was not going to become weak, I must assert my dominance, over everything. I stormed out my room not checking my appearance, not caring. I made a bee line for the arena and found exactly who I was looking for.

"Hey! Leila, want that fight now?!" she turned round from her spot at the railings and had barely agreed when I was dragging her down the stairs, I let her go as we reached an empty mat, no one else paid us any attention but Leila stood, eyes wide, looking slightly scared.

"Hey, A, are you ok? You seem a little mad?"

I laughed a little feeling my rage increase.

"Oh, I'm not mad, I just want our fight now. Go!"

Without giving her time to think, I launched myself at her and she sidestepped but not without me hitting her shoulder with a resounding thump, I looked back up at her to see her clutching her shoulder; it looked out of place. A small smile crept along my face and I could only imagine the look in my eyes, the shattered glass on the bathroom floor reflecting my manic delight rather than my disgraceful response to unknown events.

"Hey, A! Calm down, you don't seem yourself."

I now cracked and launched myself at her and pinned her to the ground, I began to recount my fight with Sophia Romero, I lowered my face close to hers and felt my smile force my lips open.

"Oh I am myself, for some reason I changed when I came here, trust me this is the real me."

Leila looked at me in horror, and I could see her eyes shine slightly then the small tears formed in the corners of her eyes. I felt curious about her reaction.

"Why are you crying?"

"Why!? Because you're both scaring me and hurting me."

"That isn't a reason to cry, what the hell kind of killer do you think you are."

"What!" she screamed at me, this attracted an audience which previously had not existed however I kept my focus on Leila trying to understand this concept that she had placed into my mind. She stared me dead in the eyes before continuing.

"Being a killer doesn't mean you can't get scared, it means you can kill that's all. Crying doesn't make you weak either, it just means you're human and have emotions. What kind of person are you if you can't understand that?"

I felt myself snap and grabbed one of my knives, I held it up to her throat feeling it move as she gulped down a breath of air.

"Really, in this situation you are questioning me. Don't dare assume to know me!"

She continued staring at me, looking straight through me as if she understood every corner of my being, it was unsettling. I felt the urge to jerk the knife across her throat and kill her when I heard someone shout my name. I looked up and saw Neco coming towards me, Leila took this opportunity to slip out from under my weight. She quickly shot her leg out catching my head, I fell back and scampered to my feet. I squared off against her then as if repeating the previous situation I launched myself at her, this time she was anticipating my act and I was dependant on that, I jabbed at her with my right arm and she side-stepped to the left, completely evading my fist. I quickly whirled round lashing out with my leg catching her side, she stumbled to the floor and clutched her side.

I walked over towering above her, she looked up at me although the pain in her side was evidently too great for her to move elsewhere. I crouched down grasping her chin in my hand.

"Really, you thought I would do the same thing twice?"

There was true fear in her eyes and she tried to say something but I held her mouth too tightly for it to be heard as anything more than a few grunts.

"I can't hear you?" I taunted in a high pitched voice. I looked across for my knife and found it lying far away from me on the mat, I reached for my other one and pulled it to her throat once again.

"Try saying that again"

She mumbled something inaudible and I began to laugh, I felt my grip on the knife tighten then I felt someone pull at my shoulders.

 I jumped to my feet turning on the person. I attacked them with the knife before I recognized it as Neco I halted my knife abruptly and he seemed to relax, I saw Leila scurry off somewhere, most likely the infirmary.

"What are you doing, are you ok?" he asked, his voice was worried or patronizing but I don't know which I would prefer. I felt my rage return but I hesitated to direct it towards Neco as I had Leila.

"I'm perfectly fine, and I'm having a match with a coward." I shouted at him, he looked around him, at all our spectators.

"Hey, come on calm down, let's go somewhere else. Dan's been looking for you too."

He reached out his hand to take my wrist but I jerked it back.

"Don't touch me." I was shocked by the acidic tone in my voice and quickly turned and began walking away, I noticed Dan walk in and stand at the railings he scanned the crowd until he noticed Neco and I but I quickly looked away. I Neco grab my wrist and I turned round.

"Hey, what is up with you?! You were fine yesterday, tell me what happened!"

I glared at him before answering.

"I came to my senses and realized who I am." I turned, pulling my arm from his grasp, and stormed off. Before I could reach and exit I heard Neco shouting after me.

"Really, are you sure about that? Because I sure as hell saw more of 'you' the other day and this is not her."

I ignored her and went back to my room, avoiding Dan also knowing he saw the entire incident.

I slammed the door behind me once I was back in my own room, I walked through to the bathroom expecting to be able to study myself and think forgetting about the mess of glass that lay on the floor. I sighed and sank to the floor, I once again lay in the pile of broken glass and somehow fell asleep.