bus | todd anderson

six

'make me believe that the world is counting on us'

todd threw himself over his bed matress.

he had his pajama on, sitting at the corner of his bed, holding a notebook with a pencil on it.

he opened it and turn to the pages where there's no written in it. a blank page in common sense.

he writes the word that came into his mind. he writes it big, doesn't care how his fonts or letter or what so ever what you call it are crooked.

"carpe diem" he whispered.

he writes it because it can't help it but to understand what it meant for him.

understand of what is his carpe diem.

"what's my carpe diem?" he asked himself.

his parents puts much pressure on him, his unposken words who can't break to its shell, his anxiety and embarrassment. its was all todd was holding onto his life, and he can't live with it. changing himself for a better might have a consequences he thought.

todd was scared,

but he wanted to live with a reason and meaning.

todd must have been stress thinking about his carpe diem. he closed his notebook, dropping his pencil beside him.

he let out a sigh as he closes his eyes and pushing his hair back.

he open his eyes and it landed directly on the notebook.

the notebook that the girl dropped from its bag. she must finding it he thought.

he grab it as soon as he reach it. it was not that far away from him since his bag is just beside him.

he grabbed it, thinking his life choices if he'll open it or not. the girl might be have secret on here but he also wants to see it.

todd curses from his breath.

he opened it as when something dropped onto his lap. he grab it as saw a picture.

a picture of a girl with a baby girl on her arms. it has to be her mother he thought.

he then looked at her notebook. there was a long note from the first page. it was from her mother, he realized that it was a gift for her when she was just a kid. there was no names mentioned though, only baby that her mother mentioned to her.

he turn the next page and he saw many poems that the girl made, some of them are not incomplete, some of them are covered by a scrabbled drawing, and some of them are erased.

he rode every poems she made, even the poems that don't even make sense. todd doesn't bother with that, he is just like her he bet.

not atleast an half hour, todd is still reading the poems. it is hard to understand cause of the doodles that surrounds sa poems, but todd wouldn't care about it.

not until he turn the next page, seeing the only one poem which is placed in an almost blank sheet of paper, no doodles, colors, erased or anything. just this poem.

"seize the day," he whispered.

it is much likely the carpe diem. well actually the exactly word. todd's was just a latin and alice was english. they might be different term but same meaning, reason, and passion.

the next page are all blank spaces. no more poems, doodles or anything. it was the last page where there's a poem.

he closed the notebook, putting it next to his notebook. todd let himself lie down onto his matress, inhaling the air that pent on his room. he is exhausted.

eyeing the ceiling, thinking of something that he couldn't even solve, anything that comes into his mind.

he is hoping that he'll find his carpe diem.

he hope so.

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