The Beautiful You

Twenty-four ~ Useless

I unlocked the backyard gate and peeked my head through, scanning the yard, until I noticed the hammock in between the trees swaying side to side. I walked in, shutting the gate behind me. Jackson was laying on his back with one arm raised behind his head and one hand on his stomach. I peered over and chuckled.

"Your mom said you wouldn't go to sleep until you saw me," I said.

"I hate being grounded. It's no fun," Jackson stated.

"You did a bad thing."

Jackson glanced at me for a moment and then back at the tree above him. He let out a deep sigh and shrugged. "I didn't hurt anybody."

"Do you not get how serious it was?" I asked, trying to keep my frustration subtle.

Jackson stared off into the night sky, ignoring my question. I didn't understand him sometimes, and it made me angry. 

I think it frustrated him too. We used to be able to read each others minds, now I was desperate to grasp any clue of what might be going through his head.

"Can you just not be like them for one minute? I just want someone to be with me," he murmured. He glanced at me and frowned. "Please."

I sighed in defeat and nodded. "Okay," I said.

The corner of his lips raised subtly as he extended his arms and said, "Sit here."

"Move over, dumbass."

He chuckled and sat up, leaving room for me to join him on the hammock. I sat down next to him as we both laid back, the hammock rocked back and forth.

"Sorry," he murmured. I turned my head towards him, staring at his blank expression. Jackson's behaviors were getting a little more out of control, and he was becoming more unpredictable.

"Jackson–"

"No, seriously. I'm sorry..." He trailed off. "I didn't mean to make you all worry. It's just that everything shuts off."

"I know," I said.

I didn't know. I didn't really understand what Jackson meant by that.

"How was it?" I asked.

He shrugged and covered his eyes with his arms and said, "Fine. Not as long as the last time."

Jackson was hospitalized one other time before, when he was around 13. That was around the time I met him. He was in the year above me, but I helped tutor him in Spanish since he had missed a few weeks of lessons.

"Amanda called me," he said. I sat up and waited for additional information. Jackson had a difficult relationship with his family, especially his biological mother, Amanda. Jackson was only recently adopted by his aunt, but he had been in her care since he was a kid. Jackson only recognized his aunt as his real mother. 

Amanda wasn't a very reliable person, and the stories Jackson told me about her were never good.

Jackson didn't have any good memories of Amanda.

"And?" I asked, gesturing for him to continue.

"She said she missed me and that she was sorry," he said, sighing. "I don't even know how she got my number."

"Did you tell your mom?" I asked. 

"No, she would just freak out and get her in trouble; I don't want that." He uncovered his eyes and pressed his lips into a hard line. "I think she was manic because she started talking about a bunch of things, and I couldn't keep up."