"If you want to get rid of me, then you have only one option. Take our Sultan's heart, because I don't want to live in a world where he doesn't exist."
"Valide Sultanim," I said as I entered her chambers as she has called for me. She obviously knew how I behaved to Suleiman and I didn't care because nothing was more important to me than his learning of his mistakes. I couldn't forget what he has done for me just because of his few words, he must learn what the real separation is when we are under the same roof but my heart is far away from his.
"Dilruba, I am glad the truth is known now and that you returned. Hurrem played evil game on all of us," Valide said showing me to sit next to her but I declined because I wanted this conversation to be quick. I haven't seen Murad for a long time and I wanted to be with my son not faking smile and good relationship with others who led me to banishing.
"Valide you were the first person who blamed me and didn't believe me, I don't know why are you happy now but you didn't even want to listen my side of the story," I said and my words pretty much surprised her. She always repeated how well-mannered I was and total opposite of Hurrem, so this might have been a huge surprise to her. But in this palace I knew I can't survive until I act towards others the same way they act towards me, but not while everything is peaceful, in moments when it's everything bad.
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"Dilruba, be aware how you are talking with me! You can't raise your voice on me just like that, who do you think you are?" Valide said being really surprised by my behaviour, but this was only what she deserved.
"Valide I don't mean to be rude, but you are the first one who blamed me. If you wouldn't react like you did and would've wanted to speak with me about that, I am sure we could get to the point really quickly. But you didn't even think that I might be innocent?" I said and each my word surprised her even more and more. I couldn't be like Mahidevran and always bow my head down but rather stand up and fight for myself, because if I don't do it no one will.
"I already said Hurrem played a evil game no one of us could process at the begining. I thought she is involved, but I couldn't say anything because my lion Suleiman wouldn't believe me!" Valide said and she got up closer to me and honestly I have never seen her acting like this which was weird.
"If you said anything to Sultan he would at least listen because your opinion is most important to him, same as he didn't banish me without agreeing on that with you," I said and at that moment someone knocked at the door and interrupted or conversation.
Hurrem came inside and bowed to Valide while she measured me and just rolled with her eyes when she saw me. Valide sighed when Hurrem came as she couldn't wait anymore for her to leave, but she know now she turned myself against her and that was even worse to her.
"Valide Sultanim, I came here to tell you something important so you may rethink about the decision of banishing me," Hurrem said while she couldn't hide the smile from her face and no one who is about to be banished behaved like this.
"Nothing can save you from being banished Hurrem," Valide said looking at her and then looking at me and finally sitting down on her sofa as she couldn't stand now both of us I was sure.
"I am pregnant and if God allows another prince will be born by me," Hurrem said and couldn't stop smiling from happiness. It hurt me the fact Suleiman lied to me and he actually has spent night with Hurrem lying to me and this was one more reason why I couldn't forget what he has done to me.
"Congradulations, but I think you can give birth also in Old Palace. The service there is very well, because what you have done can't be forgotten just because of your pregnancy," Valide said seriously and Hurrem's smile just suddenly dropped out of her face. Just when I wanted to say something I felt really dizzy and I remember nothing as I collapsed in that moment.
"Sultanim, you are wake up," I heard Cihan's voice as I have woken up and looked that I am in my chambers now. I wasn't sure what has happened because last thing I remember were Hurrem and Valide talking, but later I just collapsed. I saw a nurse standing next to Cihan and one another maid taking care of Murad.
"Sultanim, congradulations! You are pregnant again! You are so lucky," nurse said to me and first emotion I felt was a surprise because I didn't expect it now that my little Murad might get a little brother or sister. I took the bag of cold coins and gave it to nurse for bringing me the good news.
I got up and looked at myself in mirror with my hands already placed on my belly not being able to realise I will become mother once again. And once again mine and Hurrem's child will be born in almost the same time which I didn't like, but my child was most important to me.
If I was on good terms with Suleiman I would immediately run and tell him those happy news, but now I didn't have any will to see him and tell him that. I knew the news would get to him somehow and I wonder what his reaction will be on this, and what I wonder most was what will happen with Hurrem now.
I went down to Harem and Cihan followed me. There I saw Daye Hatun who has called for me to say me something.
"Sultanim, Sultan wants to see you now in the Gardens," Daye Hatun said to me and I knew the news really fast travelled when Suleiman found it out immediately.
"Tell him I don't feel good and I can't come there," I said looking at another way at all the maids who looked at me and gossiped about me.
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"Sultanim, that will make Sultan angry. He isn't happy in the last days you shouldn't punish him like that," Daye said and made me a bit sorry but I couldn't change the way of my behaviour now. He should learn his lesson this way because I won't get over this very easily.
"Please Daye," I said and she sadly walked to the Gardens to tell him my answer. When Daye left, maids gathered courage and three of them came in front of me.
"Sultanim, we heard you won't be able to get rid of Hurrem Sultana because that devil is pregnant again. She got rid of you easily you should plot something against her," one of them said to me proudly. They thought at one of their talks I would be against Hurrem publicly.
"Hurrem is Sultana and you are maids in Harem so you won't talk about that like her because you are not equal as her. The relationship Hurrem and I have is like you have between each others in harem. You shouldn't mix the way we behave to each others or make plans what we should do," I said seriously.
Hurrem and I might not like each other because each of us wanted to be the first one in Suleiman's heart, but I couldn't allow the maids to think they can side and make some plans for each of us. Maybe Hurrem loved that but I would rather use my head and my ideas than someone who is here doing nothing just waiting to raise some drama in Harem.
