mind, body, and soul | lee felix

eleven

"The love of your past life. I guess you could say I'm your guardian angel."

I couldn't help it; I snorted, then I started laughing. I'm sure Felix thought I was crazy, but at that moment, I couldn't have cared less. I laughed until tears started forming, and then I slowed down, still giggling every so often.

"What kind of bullshit is that?" I ask him, attempting to catch my breath. "'The love of your past life'", I say, deepening my voice to mimick his. "Felix, am I a joke to you? Be real."

Felix stares at me, completely shocked. He blinks at me a few times and scrunches his whole face, looking down at the table, then back up at me.

"You.. you don't believe me?" He asks, his shock apparent in his tone. I raise both my eyebrows, the situation quickly losing its humor.

"Am I supposed to?" I say slowly, just now realizing that maybe I shouldn't have followed a guy to his apartment, even if he seems really familiar. I look around, trying to identify the other exits without seeming too suspicious. I should've done this sooner.

Felix stands and walks over to my seat. He bends down and looks me in the eyes.

"I love you," he says strongly, maintaining eye contact with me. I raise my eyebrows even farther and gently push on his shoulders, trying to get my personal space back.

"You really don't," I tell him, watching as his face falls. A silence falls as Felix struggles to keep his composure. A single tear slips down his cheek and he angrily wipes it away.

Rocking back on his heels, he clears his throat and looks away from me. 

"Yeah, I guess not." He says roughly, sniffing once and looking up at me. He goes to put his hands in his pockets when he feels something in one of them. Felix pulls out a black velvet box and sighs quietly before looking at me. As if against his will, he holds the box out to me. 

"Here," Felix says, placing it in my hand. "It was made for you." I go to open the box when Felix stops me. 

"Don't open it here. I don't want you to." Felix points to the door. "Open it when you leave." I stiffen and nod, getting his not-so-subtle hint to leave.

A part of me wants to stay. Even though he's trying so hard to hide it, it's obvious that he's crushed. But by what? He couldn't have been serious about the whole "love of your past life" thing. Right?

I stand, holding his gift. Felix moves aside and leans against the table, watching me walk to the door. I turn around when I open the door, unsure of what I'm going to say when I talk, but Felix is behind me. I didn't hear him move.

His arms snake around my waist and he holds me to his chest. Felix's nose brushes the side of my neck and he inhales softly, his grip tightening. I'm frozen, surprised by his rare affection. I feel something wet hit the top of my shoulder and I look up to see Felix crying a little. When he sees me looking at him, he just kisses the top of my forehead.

"Make it home."

Pushing me outside, Felix closes the door. Out in the hall, I hear the lock click. I stand in that spot for a minute, processing what just happened. I reach up to touch my forehead. There's something about him that I can't put my finger on.

I look down at the box. I run my fingers along the smooth velvet. It looks like the type of box that holds jewelry, like a ring or necklace. I decide to open it once I get home.

It's an uneventful walk back to my apartment. I look for Jisung in case he appears, but I don't see him or anyone else that I know. 

Once I'm home, I slide off my shoes and sit on the couch. Taking a deep breath, I open the box carefully. There, nestled in the silky fabric, is a silver necklace. I lift it up and my breath catches. It's a pair of intertwined angel wings; it's silver with a dark blue sapphire resting at the top of the wings. It's beautiful.

I undo the clasp and hook it around my neck. The metal is cool on my collarbone, and I look down to see how it looks. I gently touch the wings, and my thumb brushes the sapphire. Immediately, the scene around me changes. 

I'm back in that bedroom I saw Felix in. This time, Felix isn't there with that woman. He's there with- Me?

We're sitting on the floor next to the bed, and Felix is practically wrapped around the other me, her back to his chest and his legs hooked around her waist. He's nuzzling her neck as the other me tries to type something on a laptop.

Eventually, the other me stops typing and turns in Felix's arms.

"Seriously," she says, hitting his shoulder lightly. "I have to get this thing for class-" Felix kisses her in the middle of her sentence. It's obvious how much he loves other me in this moment; his love is radiating off of him. Felix is holding the back of her head in one hand, and he has intertwined his other hand with hers.

Pulling away, Felix rubs his nose against hers, laughing a little. 

"I know~" he whines softly. "But I miss you~" She laughs and pats the top of his head. 

"I'm right here," other me tells him. "I'll always be right here."

I blink, and I'm back on my couch, still holding the pendant around my neck. It's like I never left. I blink again and look down at the necklace. Did the necklace do that? The sapphire sparkles, as if winking at me.