Fourty million dollar, Baby (16+) - a Tom Holland fan fiction

Part Three

I was sitting at my desk doing paperwork for a mission me and Mr smith had just finished when my boss strolled past me awfully trying to hide a certain nervousness but I've sensed it already so it was too late for him anyways to lie to me now. He walked over to me and I put on my polite face acting as if I had no clue that he wanted something from me or wanted to tell me something. "Ms y/n would you please take a moment and come into my office? It's important and I believe you would like to know about this...uhh..issue." He weirdly said and turned to walk into his office. I silently nodded and followed.
Sitting down in the cold leather chair I coughed to get the conversation going. He sat down on the opposite of the desk and looked me dead in the eye as if he wouldn't know how talk anymore. So I started "Sir what is it that you wanted to inform me about?" I said. The look on his face went very serious suddenly and he uncomfortably moved around in his chair. "Ms y/n I am afraid I have to inform you about the sudden and very shocking death of your ex partner Mr Holland. He sadly passed away yesterday on his mission in Scotland. There was no way for him to survive this. I'm sorry." He said. My mouth went dry but my eyes became a sea of tears in a second. This can't be true I thought to myself. He's too good of an agent to just...die. Just like that. Every possibly experienceable emotion went into my head and then into my heart and then back into my head and I felt the dizziness crawling into me. The only words I managed to let fall out of my mouth were " no please!". That was it and the tears started to stream down my face, turning my cheeks into a never ending waterfall. "You can of course go home if you don't feel well Miss-" Said my boss but I didn't even listen to him anymore. I got up and turned around trying to fight against the constant dizziness that filled my whole body. Without wasting any more time I took my bag from my desk and left while letting the tears fell to the ground. I didn't care anymore. Tom already owned too much of my heart and I felt his sudden death affecting me more than I would've ever wanted to.
I don't remember how I got home. If I drove by myself or if I took a taxi. I only remember laying down in my bed with this endless feeling of emptiness and pure bare pain. Nothing but pain and this deep dark hole in the place where my heart used to be. It was dark outside. Night, I believe. I lost track of time. I sat I don't know how many hours on my bedroom floor only waiting for the next wave of emotions to hit me again so that I could let out my sadness in the tears. I screamed. I wanted everyone in this world to feel this pain. After several hours on the floor I fell asleep. It must've been around 4 am when I woke up again only to realise I've probably only slept an hour and the pain was still there. I got up and got a glass of water. On my way back to the bedroom I passed a mirror in the hallway and stopped for a second. I looked at my face. Red dull eyes, pale as the walls behind me, eye bags darker than the colour black and dried out lips. My mascara already stained my face and my lipstick was everywhere but where it was supposed to be. I looked dead. And I felt like it too.

I didn't go to work the rest of the week mostly because I didn't feel like it but also because I threw up from the alcohol. I didn't really eat anything and I only lived off of alcohol and every now and then a glass of water and some pills against the damn headache. I felt as if the life got soaked out of me. Not one single atom in my body could believe that he was... dead. I knew him too well and everything inside off my screamed at me to not believe it. But my own boss said it so it was pretty much the truth I believed. When I came back I worked super slow and it took me two whole weeks to get back into the usual work life routine.
I followed my usual routine of working from 8am to 9pm and worked overtime every now and then. I tried to move on! Really! I really tried! But my mind told me something was wrong. It felt wrong in every kind of way. Sooo I used the overtime work to go into the basement and search for any information about Tom's last mission. I found the file after searching for 2 hours and when I opened it at least half of everything someone had noted got blacked out. Not how we usually handle files. I found Toms file too but got really perplex when there was no death certificate at all. Nothing. Not even a note. When I looked up any file that had to do with his death I couldn't find anything. Almost like it never happened. To be safe I didn't tell anyone about my little research and kept it to myself.

Another regular day, another boring shift. I was patiently waiting for everyone else to leave so that I could go back into the basement to keep on with my research thing when my boss called me into his office once again. He seemed relaxed so I didn't fear anything else that could be heart shattering. I sat down and he started "Miss I'm sorry that I call you in so late but I forgot to tell you earlier. There will be a funeral for Mr Holland tomorrow on the Putney Vale cemetery here in London. I thought you might want to attend it so that you can say a proper good bye to Thomas.". I had been wondering when the funeral was going to happen so I had just waited for the invitation. "Yes thank you, I'd like to join tomorrow. I want to show him the last respect. He deserves it. After all we were friends." I said. My face saddened a bit with the thought of Tom on my mind. "Great then I'll see you tomorrow. It starts at 4 pm you'll find the way I'm sure." He said and with that I wished him a good night and went back to get my bag and my files. He followed me out and left the headquarters. Perfect timing. I instantly went back to get to the basement.

Thank you for reading I hope you enjoyed it:)