Pray for the Wicked | ATEEZ

36.

Hours passed before I felt the bed dip behind me.

Minutes later, I felt his back against mine; sturdy and warm and just like it had been in Odeion, except closer this time. We were closer this time, closer than when it had all started, and now, it was all about to end.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

Our apologies echoed each other in the darkness shrouding my room like a nocturne mist of regret and remorse. Silence quickly settled around us again and I chewed on my lip before, after a while, gathering the courage to ask, "Will you be gone when I wake?"

"Are you going to cry?" was all the son of Lilith asked in return, letting my question go unanswered like so many times before.

"Weren't you the one who told me not to waste my tears?" I mumbled.

He didn't answer. He didn't have to, because I already knew that I would be alone by the time dawn broke.

"Will you please hold me?" I whispered, my voice barely more than a shaky breath as I bit my lip the moment I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me flush against his chest and into the safety and comfort of his embrace.

I felt his onyx necklace thrumming against my back like a faint song as I mumbled, "Were you lying to me earlier?" before pausing, waiting, "When you told me you weren't hurting?"

"I'm hurting now."

I felt my breath catch, about to turn around only to freeze as the son of Lilith held me tighter for a moment, his hot breath ghosting over the skin on my neck followed by an ice-cold shiver.

"Except it's entirely my fault," Hongjoong claimed, speaking into the silence.

"Know that when I promised I would never hurt you, I meant it," he continued, "Earlier- words can't express how sorry I am, how much that flicker of fear in your eyes ruined me."

I turned around, at last, studying him for a moment as I admired the way the darkness of the night seemed to caress his features, angelic as they were, beautiful as they were, sad as they were.

"Dahlia, I would kill for you. I would die for you. I would set all of Heaven on fire and not let a single flame touch you."

"Hongjoong-" I whispered, at a loss for words and overcome with a sudden sadness over how this would be our final goodbye, knowing that there were so many things I had left to tell him, so many lies I had left to lay bare.

"I know you wouldn't. You're not her. You're kinder than any angel I've ever encountered, more caring. You're admirable, valiant, and noble. Every day I look into those eyes, into the devil's eyes, and I see Heaven. I see the Heaven that has been described to me my entire life. Not the one I grew up in, live in, but the one I long for, the one in which I feel safe. The Heaven in which I feel at home."

As my words faltered off, I felt torn between wanting to cry or to kiss him except I was too afraid that either would make me break down, make me crumble in his arms.

So all I could do was watch him, knowing that our time was running out, that things were changing. Because even though I could no longer see Hongjoong's wings, something had gone wrong. We had done something wrong.

All I could do was watch him as he poured his heart out to me.

All I could do was watch him as I carefully trailed my fingers across his cheek and the demon, whose eyes and lips and features I loved more than anything else, melted into my touch.

"Those hands can summon stars, angel," Hongjoong said, and suddenly my heart was in my throat.

"Those lips awaken every cell in my body, make every drop of blood boil with yearning," he continued, and suddenly my throat was dry.