Pray for the Wicked | ATEEZ

27.

I mentally cursed every grain of sand in the hourglass across the table from Hongjoong and me for dropping too slowly as we sat in silence and waited for the last rays of sunlight to vanish as the sun dipped below the horizon.

Few words had been exchanged between us since what had happened in my room earlier, what seemed like days considering how slowly the hours had been passing by, the only things we had talked about being possible hiding places for the Lunar Flame; museums, chapels, the catacombs, somewhere in the forest-

It had eventually brought us back to the library which we had visited shortly after the heirs to the Court of Deadly Sins had shown up as well, the two of us sneaking in before getting settled by a table in one of the more secluded areas of the enormous room, each with our own book, each with our own thoughts.

It was awkward. The atmosphere which seemed to stick to us, covering mouths and ears and eyes, suffocating, choking, was uncomfortable to the point of it being painful. And I hated it.

And yet, I was too much of a coward to bring it up, to break the silence which I, almost shamefully, accepted as I bit my lip and turned yet another page, letting my eyes travel across each and every word etched onto the aged paper as I let my finger trail down the side of the book I had chosen.

The Heart of an Empire

A long, exhausted sigh left the son of Lilith's lips as he slowly closed his own book; leatherbound and dark against his hand, and got off his chair, probably to get another one, only to freeze as his elbow bumped against mine.

The touch was brief, barely noticeable, and yet it sent a ray of electricity through every vein in my arm as I audibly sucked in a breath, almost flinching as I turned to look at him.

But he was gone before I could catch his eye, my heart sinking as I let my hand drop into my lap and lowered my head a little, staring at the ring on my finger; a stark contrast to the one Hongjoong wore with its delicate design of pristinely white silver, tempted to touch it and simply fly away from my problems, from my feelings, from the blue-haired demon.

When he came back, he took a seat at the other side of the table, plopping down in one of the old chairs across from me. It felt like a rejection. He felt much too far away.

Another hour must have passed by before he finally spoke up. But whether or not it had been because he could no longer bear the silence or if it was the guilt that made him do it, I didn't know.

"I'm sorry."

"You shouldn't apologize-" I began, but the son of Lilith interrupted me before I could finish whatever excuse had been lingering at the tip of my tongue.

"What we- What I did was wrong. I don't know what came over me and it was completely unreasonable for me to even suggest such a thing from you as a form of repayment- as if you owed me anything, owed me something so precious. It was wrong, forbidden, and I'm sorry. It doesn't have to mean anything if that makes you feel better."

And although he was more than right, mature, even, for realizing the gravity of the situation, of what we had done, I found that my heart sank with every word that left his lips.

I once again reached for my ring with shaky fingers, wanting to flee, to hide, only to hesitate as I nodded a little, a strange feeling settling at the bottom of my stomach. Disappointment.

"Do you regret it?" I mumbled, finally lifting my head a little to look at the windows across the aisle which cut down the middle of the old library like a river of marble between the mountains of books towering over it on either side as I realized, with a start, that the sun was finally starting to set.