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TITLE OF THE STORY : WAY AND DIRECTION AUTHOR : DeniraP REVIEWED BY : PEARL
COVER/TITLE :
Cover is not so attractive. It will not attract readers. Choose a cover that tells something about your story or the theme of your story, so that it catches readers' eyes and instil in them an image of the story.
And I like the title, 'Way and direction' which justifies the storyline. And it is mentioned in the blurb as well as in the story that the girl is 'way and the boy, her 'direction'.
BLURB :
I found the blurb impressive. After reading it, the reader wants to read more, to know more about the lovers. The way you described their bond is quite impressive. It's told that they are being separated; with this, questions arise in the readers' mind- "How they separated? Do they meet again? " etc.
You can give a little introductionof the main characters in the blurb.
STORYLINE :
Well! I love the storyline. The theme is quite intriguing. The idea of separation ignites sparks. What's the fun, if the love story is easy. So that's really appreciative
VOCABULARY :
Your vocabulary is good, perfect mixture of words is used: the words that fit the scene. I appreciate that you have avoided the use of too much complex words, as it may confuse readers. They have to consult dictionary for that and consequently the reader loses interest. You used all the words at right places. You can add more words.
GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION :
Grammar is good. No punctuation mistakes at all; at one or two places only. You've done one mistake. Throughout the story, you've narrated in past tense. But somewhere in the chapter-4, the tempo is disturbed and you've written few sentences in simple present tense- "and they continued dancing. All of a sudden, the door bangs open."
I suggest, you should write in same tense; past or present throughout the story.
CHARACTERS/DIALOUES :
Character development can be seen for every character. By reading mere 11 chapters of the story, I can sketch the characters. Richard, Ellie, and even Dahlia, Vikram, Vikram's parents and his girlfriend.
Conversation and dialogues are less, I think. You should add more conversations,
DESCRIPTIONS :
Overall it's great. I like the way how the scene of beach is described. It would have been better if more details of other scenes were added.
PACE :
The story runs at a good pace, not too fast. As I mentioned earlier, more dialogues and description should be added to slow the pacing in certain scenes, as those scenes are ended up fast.
FLOW OF THE STORY :
The story moves smoothly and the reader can read it without facing confusion. The story is progressive, rises interest as moves ahead.
OVERALL ENJOYMENT :
I can read this story without being bored. It has gained my interest. I want to know what happens next. To me it's definitely enjoyable.
